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this is in the state of maryland.

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ALot of this depends on the situation & who has DPOA.
If bro is living at dad's house, then he can use dad's money for the upkeep of the house as the house is in dad's name. It doesn't have to be your brother's money to pay for maintenance.

How is nursing home getting paid?
If dad is private pay at the nursing home then as long as they are getting paid, dad needs are being addressed (e.g.he gets new socks when he needs them, he gets his hair cut) then how his money is spent is of no concern to them.

If he's on Medicaid for the NH, then whatever assets he has are being paid to the NH and there should be no other income out there. So if this is case then something got unreported and Medicaid will eventually find out, dad will responsible for paying the full rate for the period of ineligibility. If dad can't then the NH will try to bill the family. Maryland IS a filial responsibility state.

What do you mean by "insurance money". I would imagine you actually mean an annuity purchased through an insurance company?? If that's the case, then how it can be distributed depends on the contract. Annuities have all kinds of regulations as to how they are paid out and they regulated by each state. You need to see the contract.

Who is DPOA? If your bro. is DPOA for dad and he doesn't want to share dad's financials with you, he doesn't have to. Then you need to get an elder care attorney to sort all this out. Good luck.
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Pamella, who is it that is living on the insurance money - your father in the nursing home or the "family member"? If it is your father, then I would guess that he paid for the insurance over the years so that he would have it when he needed it to pay for care in his later years. If it is the "family member" who is living on the insurance money, I would think you would have to read the insurance contract that your father signed years ago when he signed on with the insurance company to see if what is happening is legal or not. I hope someone else isn't using the money that your father intended for his own use in his later years. Good luck in finding out.
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I talked to a social worker (I'm in PA) because my brother was taking money from my mother. She suggested I contact a elder lawyer and report him. I know that nursing homes go back 5-7 years in financial records if the elder needs to get funding and if anything looks shady, that money would have to be paid back. Good luck... finances and families don't mix.
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