My father had bladder cancer that has spread to his bones. He is very tired, has no appetite and is uncomfortable. Can someone please tell me how long we have?

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My Father had bladder cancer and now it has spread to his bones...He is very tired, has no appetite and he is uncomfortable. could someone (who has gone through this with a loved one) please tell me how long do we have? He tells us he does not feel like there is much time. We are going to the oncologist next week. He is almost 86 and has some other health issues also. My heart is broken, but I do not want him to suffer. My family, bless their hearts are rallying around us... I am trying to stay focused on making him comfortable and peaceful.

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My husband had bladder cancer when he was 32 and then had a another tumor 4 years later - but now 14 years later - something came up on his pet scan and now had a bone biopsy- what is the probability that he might have bone cancer - He is only 52 years old - any help would be appreciated
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You are right, Debralee. My husband has a "much larger than expected" malignant cancerous tumor in his bladder. It has attached itself to the wall. The urologist said some of the tumor was scraped during the cystoscopy; but, even repeating this procedure two or three more times will not get all of the cancer. He was obligated to tell us the options, of course. Of course, removal of the tumor is impossible. The next step would be to remove the bladder and surrounding organs, leaving him to urinate into a bag. The doctor's body language was negative throughout the explanation of what was discovered and what the options are. I was shown the cat scan on the computer screen as two other urologists were called in to "consult" about the cystoscopy. They were very concerned about a break in the wall of one of his kidneys. Logic tells me that the cancer has spread. His age (87) and heart condition are working against him. He looks and acts younger than 87. The day he was released after the cystoscopy, we had discussed being thankful for our 22 years of happiness we had enjoyed with each other. He told me that he is an old man (something I don't want to accept...I am 68) and that something is going to kill him. It might be a heart attack. It might be the cancer. It might be any number of things. So, we are going to live each day as if it were our last. Both of us are planning to have some minor medical procedures done this month. We plan to enjoy some time "to do whatever we want" in October! In November, we are planning to have Thanksgiving week, or more!, with one of his daughters and her family. They may or may not be able to be there as long as we are, but this is their retirement home that they do not live in yet...soon, they hope...and we have always been welcome to enjoy the change in weather, humidity, and just to spend some time in a gated community on a beautiful mountain of VA. During the second week in December we have planned a Caribbean cruise. One of his other daughters and her husband are touring the USA in a motor home and should be in our area of FL in January. If something happens to prevent any of these plans, we will deal with them as they come. I, as his wife and caretaker, however, want to know what to expect and when to expect it so that I can be prepared. So, yes, this is a 2012 thread, but I am benefiting from it. Thank you to all who have posted here and who might read this and post some more. I want to make the quality of his life to be of primary importance, and I want to be with him (at home, I hope) until the very end.
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True the post is old, but for those who are affected today may find the current advice helpful.
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Note: this post is from 2010.
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Hospice Care will make sure he does not suffer. When cancer has spread to the bones of the elderly, chemotherapy does more harm than good. How long he lives is not as important as how his quallity of life without pain is in his best interest.
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My mother had bladder cancer. The cancer was very invasive and had also taken over a lymph node. They removed her bladder and the surrounding lymph nodes and she received chemo therapy. At the end of chemotherapy they did a scan and everything came back clear. Six months later she had another scan which was also clear. Now, one year later she just had another scan and they noticed a "smudge" on her hip. Now she goes this upcoming Wednesday for a bone scan. What if it has metastasized? I feel sick to my stomach with worry for her. She has been such a trooper through all of this and I worry so much for her. How severe is bone cancer? Will she ever be cancer free?
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I lost my dad 2 years ago we did in home hospice . I have no way to say how long he has but I can pass on some very important points to help you in this sad situation .
The hospice nurse told us that the cancer victim will decide when he passes as well as whom is around when he passes . In our case my dad passed on after we all had left him to sleep (around 3am )

Keep in mind that though a cancer patient may appear unconscious or asleep they are very aware of whats going on around them so ots best not to say anything in ear shot . My family and I were sitting feet away talking about the good times we had as kids and though we thought dad was asleep he smiled .
If he is ptescribed oral morphine do not withold the medicine for fear of it expediting his passing . My sister forbid us from giving my dad morphine in her belief he would die from it . I thought that selfish and called the doctor who agreed with my opinion that it wasnt a strong enough dose to expedite his passing .

In my experience dad stopped eating and drinking . His urine output was very little and his urine was very dark . we all knew from his dehydration that he didnot have long but suprised us by bouncing back only to pass on a few days later .
I am grateful for having him inmy home for hospice we got very close in his last days .

I will say that before he died he described it as very beautifull ...all the colors then he called out the name of his dog he had as a child . He loved living in the apartment in my home and actually said " you are going to have to carry me out of here I like it so much here "
His wish came true .When the funeral home came to take him the clouds cleared and a mockingbird broke out the most sweet variety of chirps I have ever heard .
I hope this post can help or comfort you . My experience leads me to believe that passing on in life is not the end . Bless you !
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hi my 82 year old mother was diagnosed with an aggressive form of bladder cancer. she goes in for a bone scan tuesday. all the other scans were negative. They are suggesting chemo and then complete bladder removal I dont want to see her suffer. I am scared
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Thank you :)
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Chemo can be really hard on people... however I would listen to the Doctor and ask questions. I know this is VERY hard... I wish I was close by to help you! Just remember they need you and be sure to rest when you can... take care, J
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