ebfcj46 Asked March 2011

How do elderly people cope with the transition of moving from their home to long-term care?

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bobO Mar 2011
They don't. Not right away. I spent th3 last 6 years having discussion with them. They felt it was a good idea. I shopped the highest end Retirement Communities in Dallas. I got them past a waiting list, showed them floor plans, even had a decorator to help decide what to take from the house and how to fit it into the new surroundings. We toured the places we had narrowed it down to from 7 and they selected one. We went to sign the papers and they walked out of the offices. This was repeated yearly. We finally decided on in home health care 24/7. (very expensive) Both deteriorated mentally over time. Dad started having delusional episodes. (Yes, UITs were involved.) The last one he threatened 2 caregivers and 2 nurses with death if they went near mother. Subsequently the police were called and Dad was taken to county psychiatric lock-down for 2 weeks observation and med adjustment. He was then released to a senior living place that specializes in geriatric mental health. I moved mother there the next day. She died 2 weeks later. It has taken 3 months for Dad to adjust and acclimate to being in the home. (He kept conspiring with 'friends' and caregivers at the place to "break him out."
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NancyH Mar 2011
I guess that would depend on their mental state at the time of the move. My mother-in-law had to move into asst. living about a year after her husband died. She fought it tooth and nail, but in her heart she knew she had to go. We found out that the two of them had been covering for each other. My father-in-law was covering for her terrible memory, which turned out to be dementia, and she was covering for him not being able to stay awake when driving (scary). I wish they'd made the move into retirement living a few years before he died. They had talked about it but never followed through. So when we had to MAKE her move from her home of 50 years it took dynamite and much crying. And she had semi-marbles at the time too. So it all depends on how many marbles a person has I think.
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