How do I fire my mom's caregiver?

You need to be honest and she knows that the job is now too much for her and she probably is just trying to hang in there-if she is with an agency tell them what is going on at this time if she is private it will be harder but your Mom's health is on the line-your Mom will be upset for a while but you need to do what is important-years ago we had to fire my MIL from babysitting our kids and it was very hard but she was causing so many problems we had to do it. A nurse at our hospital had to br fired and it turned out she had early alzheimers disease and was not aware until then.

Is there a "third party" that can handle this rather than family? As Austin said, if she is with an agency, it would be easier, but I've got a sense she is not. Could you somehow bring doctor's orders into this - as in a different type of care is needed? This is touchy, since your mother likes her. Keep us posted on how it goes.
Carol

Austin and MindingOurElders,
I can always count on you for good advice. I talked to mom this morning and laid it all out there for her. Also, the dr. talked to her and told her the woman needs to go. She is a private hire and I have cut her hours down to just one day a week. She is off for the summer is is not coming back in September. When I explained it all to mom, she said she understood, but was still sad to see her go. I feel so much better that she is gone. Last week she forgot mom's blood pressure patch, A few weeks before that she didn't even put her meds together rat all. This week she was taking her blood pressure reading all wrong and gave my mom a pill that made it even lower! Thanks for being there for me.
Linda

I too have a private care giver for my mother. She has caused a war between my family causing a standoff and she knows it. I have insisted to my sister we fire her but she refuses because the caregiver has brainwashed my mother to a point of my mother choosing her over me. My mother actually told me I could leave and her caregiver would stay. This caregiver has failed to give medicine, has lied and deceived me, she opens family mail and reads it, handle changes in social security along with retirement changes , called insurance company for beneficiary info. My mother has dementia and this caregiver knows it and manipulates mother into doing anything the person wants. Mother says she trust her with everything. Serious Red Flag. Any advise?...

I hate confrontations, hurt feelings, etc., but had to let someone go. She'd been fine for awhile, but was now pre-occupied with some of her own family issues. My aunt was not happy. It was so easy with the agency, telling them there'd been a change, and new personality conflict. No need to specify examples, document behaviors, etc. Her replacement is wonderful. Another companion I let go after not showing up, cancelling with little notice, and I just couldn't rely on her in order to get in my own appointments. My aunt really liked her, so I had overlooked some things, but safety is a firm issue. I can't leave the house expecting someone to be there in a few minutes, and she isn't.

I like the idea of a third party making the change if possible. Others have good answers too. Mammy08, yes she's a serious red flag. Document and fire. If she calls about beneficiaries, she could be changing them, and will next change the will. Run.