Try going through your local DHS seniors and people with disabilities. You may or may not have to get licensed through the state. Email me your state and I can see what I can find for you.
One and 1/2 years ago, I was working full-time at a job that paid fairly well for the area where I live. My mother had complications from an operation and I went on FMLA. I was starting to work a few hours here and there, but was not fully back from FMLA when they ended my position. I have been on unemployment since then. I have looked for work, but there is nothing that really fits my new reality. I would have to work from home and greatly reduced hours, which would have to be flexible. In addition, it is becoming increasingly clear that I am needed at home. My mother has problems walking and has fallen several times. She is on oxygen 24/7. Her oxygen level drops into the 80s with just minimal exertion. She needs help with her baths and meal preparation, etc. My father, though not formally diagnosed, seems to have early stage Alzheimer's. In addition, they have frequent doctor visits to which I have to take them. I feel that my parents need me to be home with them at this time. Their care really is a full-time job. Does Social Security not help in these situations. If I could draw now, I would be perfectly willing to accept reduced payments in the future once I am no longer needed to care for my parents. .
My Mom has lived with me for over 2 years now because she shouldn't live by herself. My utility usage has doubled every month and my food bill has jumped. Is there any relief for me? I am also a single Mom of 3 kids. Is there any financial help for me?
What can my mother legally pay me and or my adult children for care while zhe is living in my home? She has alzheimers and a degenerafive spinal condition. Zhe requires 23/7 supervision and transpodtation and supervision of all meds. She is in earlystagesofincontinence.
My oldest sister, 69 y.o., kept my mom for a year. I am my mom's payee rep. My mom only made just under $800 per month and I was still paying for her utilities at her home. I also paid for the yard work $100 per month, as well as, paid on a preened funeral for her out of the same money. My sister, who has never worked outside the home, has a gambling problem, and so I made it very clear when she took my mom that I would not allow her money to be used for my sister's gambling habit, but rather I would pay my sister in grocery gift cards. ( My sister's oldest daughter takes care of her finances because my sister would spend her rent/utility money.) Also, one of my sister's daughters also lived in the house. Over the course of the last year, I have heard nothing but complaining and bullying to get me to give up over half my mom's income to her. My sister had to pay nothing out of pocket for my mom, to include toiletries, clothes, medicine, etc. I made sure the sister paid nothing out of her own pocket for my mom. I also was the primary in traveling home every month (sometimes 2-3 times a month) to take my mom to doctor appointments, cateract surgery, etc. I live 6-7 hrs. away. I progressed in sending from $150 to $250 per month for grocery gift cards. My mother did not want to go to an assisted living, nor did she want to live out of state, so this sister was the only alternative. I did offer to pay above what I was sending if my sister could show me receipts for things purchased, or if the utility bills were higher due to my mother. She would never give me any documents. I traveled 6-7 hours each time I came home, and usually stayed in a hotel because of family drama. We bought groceries for my mom every time we visited prior to her moving in my sister, and I never reimbursed myself from my mom's money. I think it's shameful to charge to keep your own parents, unless of course you had to quit a job, or you have no money to pay for the additional expense of your parent. Then, whoever is in charge of that money should help out like I have done. I just don't believe children should expect an hourly fee for caregiving. Did our parents charge to take care of us?
Overseas, in some countries, being a caregiver for your elderly or sick parent is highly regarded & respected. They are paid & given health insurance & taken care of. Not in this country. If you are sacrificing your livelyhood & income to do the right thing because for whatever reason, like me, worried about the quality of care in nursing homes, I absolutely think the adult child should be taken care of as well, financially & with health coverage. I'm saving the state thousands of dollars by being the sole caregiver at home and I don't have 2 pennies to rub together or health insurance. I want to lobby in DC to change this. It shouldn't be this way in the richest country in the world. No adult child should fall into poverty for doing the right thing by being a caregiver for their loved ones.
I just want to say that I think it's just a disgrace that this country does not even care enough to provide a little compensation for people that have to give up there jobs, and really any kind of life they even thought about having, to care for their elderly parents. I love my parents dearly and want to take the best care of them I possibly can (after all they did there best with me for 18 yrs.), but I have bills I have to worry about too. I just don't feel like I should burden my parents with my responsibilities.
The sheer stress, heartache and physical demands that go into caring for an ailing elderly parent, it is a 24/7 job with little to no rewards other than you are doing the right thing by caring for your parent even when it is incredibly difficult especially if the parent has dementia or needs constant medical assistance. Our government should pay child who are caregivers, to hire aides or nurses can run into huge amounts of money, and when one is alone caring for a parent an aide is not a luxury, but necessity, if only to give the caregiver a break every day for a few hours. And it's not like aides are paid a lot either, it seems the companies they work for take quite a chunk of their pay, that seems very unfair too since the aide is doing all the work, the company merely finds them jobs.
I am appalled at comments that are so ignorent and cold. there are times that this crosses my mind as well. It isn't a bad thing to have these questions or entertain the idea. It is a relief to think about at times. I work full time but i am signed up for intermittent FMLAfor my Mom. if she is having more difficulty,an appointment or a caregiver cant come on a scheduled day,I am lucky I can take off for the day to provide care. I do not get paid when I use my FMLA. I dont think pirategirl understands that I lose pay when this happens. The fact that I would be there for my Mom no matter what is not the question. But it can be a worry. Dont feelbadly for asking this. You are doing the best that you can as we all are.
Why do some people think that the govt should not assist in paying to help families care for the elderly or disabled? Is it any different than expecting the govt to provide free schools for people who made the choice to have children? Many families caring for elderly or disabled in their homes are actually saving the govt money since they could place them in facilities under Medicaid.
I agree with you Overwroughtone. I got paid nothing when mom lived with me..the SEVERAL times I took her out of the NH for neglect. I did however have her SS check since I am also her representative payee and take care of her financial obligations. When she is at the NH, they take all but 60 dollars of her SS check for her co-pay AFTER medicaid pays their co-pay and medicare pays their almost 5K. When she lives with me, she and I have her SS check to help makes ends meet. BUT, it's not much and a caregiver MUST have respite. I had that also. Once a week a gal would come in for about 45 min so I could at least go outside and walk my dog. Mom is at the mental stage of a 3 year old. One cannot leave her alone for ONE second. The state paid for the respite but mom was on Hospice then. She got much better living with me than she ever was at the five Nursing homes I've tried...so much better that they took her OFF Hospice and I lost my lady that came once a week for 45 min. Then, I had to pay 9 dollars per hour for anyone to come and give me a break. NOBODY knows what it is like caring for a parent with dementia/Alz UNLESS they have done it themselves. Period.
Children are people too. If I work for another family I get paid, but not for my family? Why is that exactly? Am I worthless to my family? If it was a week or a few times a month, that might be fine to not expect to be paid. But, when it is ongoing and there is a need for one to be in the home 24/7 they should be paid just as any other caregiver would be. Would any one else come in the home for NOTHING? NO!
I have been taking care of my parents for the last eighteen months and I have two older brothers and it's like I am the only child. They never offer me any money or even offer to sit with them for the weekend or anything. I have been through a divorce and had two cars repossessed and lost four jobs. At this point I would really appreciate any help from any agency that might could help me financially. I am hangin in there because I have seen what goes on in nursing homes. Anybody got any suggestions?
To: Patricia12 Yes, you can get help. I'm alone with a very sick mom, left work to care for her & I had to pull myself together & get resources for myself & mom, I left work to care for her. 1st Call Area on Aging or Council on Aging in your area and get a case manager, have them come out to meet with you & your parents. They will explain the different options. 2nd apply for Medicaid Waiver for inhome care, gather all your finances & your parents & apply. I get an inhome aide every morning to help me bath, etc. mom. Council also helps me pay for electric 3x a yr. cause mom is on oxygen 24/7 & the bills are enormous. Hope this helped you a little.
While I understand everyone wanting to get paid to take care of their loved ones, I can also understand why privategal said what she did. It's so taxing on us emotionally, physically and financially to take care of someone. It really isn't that they cost alot to live with us but the fact that many of us have to quit our jobs in order to help them. On the other hand, I too feel that it's the circle of life that we take care of our parents and do it with love and pride and gratefulness for all of the time they took care of us. This is not, however, everyone's perception and not everyone had great parents. I don't think that privategal took that into consideration. For the most part, I think we all try and do our best no matter what the circumstances were between parent and child. I don't think that the original question was asked because the writer wanted money...I think that it was asked because possibly the writer had to leave his or her job and has to continue to make ends meet for her family as well. Judging each other on here is just so very wrong all around. I'm past the caretaker stage as my mom passed away in April but each person that talked to me on this site gave me insite or encouragement along the way. I stay on here because I think I may be able to bring a different perspective now that I'm not living that difficult life anymore but instead, actually miss it! I wish all of you the best and just to answer the question.....there ARE some ways that you can get some financial help from a state but there are specific reasons and circumstances that you would have to look into. Good luck
Reading everyone's comment it appears my situation is similar. I quit my job back in 2009, when my father had a stroke and I moved to Sun City to assist my elderly parents. He has since passed away and now it is my mother that needs assistance. Between my brother and I we do our best to meet her needs. But unfortunately I need to get back into the workforce of which I have been having trouble doing so. I am 61 years of age now and the companies won't hire me back. Also living in California unless you are bilingual now they won't hire you. My mother is living on minimal social security now. The way my parents had their retirement set up they would get a higher amount regarding my dads pension but when he passed away it stopped. My question likes others is why if the parents are in need of a caregiver that they don't assist the child financially who has no problem being their for them . I remember toward the end of my fathers life he was on hospice. We paid over $3000 a month for him to be in a residential home, with caregivers. I know that they are certified medical providers but I became CPR/FIRST AID CERTIFIED when I moved in with my parents to take care of him. My father lasted four days in the residential home and the $3000 was not reimbursed, not even a portion of it and we paid for thirty days. At any rate this system has got to change in favor of our elderly and their care.
I don't understand how the system will pay a stranger, but not the caregiver, who is completely overwhelmed....my lawyer told me, very matter of fact...that YOU are not responsible for your parent/s....parents are responsible for their children but not the other way around...I couldn'd believe it...I said to him but my mom has no one...I'm the only one who has been taking care of her and will continue to do so for as long as I can.....and riptide is correct that in some countries relatives are paid....and overwroughtone is also correct about pirategirl...wake up....no one growing up, has ever been told or educated in this country that one day you will be taking care of your aging parent or a least educate you on the warning signs..(maybe they do now in school since we are living longer?)..we all have to figure it out as we go along...educating each other.....and praying to God that when the time comes, when we will be in this position someone will look after us....(and its not always your kids :(
AlLadyn--Re: My father lasted four days in the residential home and the $3000 was not reimbursed, not even a portion of it and we paid for thirty days.
I would get an attorney. They STOLE FROM YOUR DAD.....that is FRAUD. They need to return 26 days of money to you. Had similiar probs. with NH in this area. NOT RIGHT---STEALING FROM ELDERLY.
Dear teachergear1, I recall when my mother was filling out the paper work for the residential home, and the nurse who had gone to visit my father in the hospital prior made a comment to my mother filling the paper work out that the $3000 would not be reimbursed if he passed away sooner? My thoughts on the matter, was being a nurse she knew that he had not much time left but I could not prove she knew. Had we known it was just a matter of days we would have brought him home instead. Not because of the money issues but we would have liked for him to have passed in his home. But how are you to know these things.
It's just not right. It's like they already KNEW that they were going to steal from him...stealing money from a dying man. Doesn't get any greedier than that. Nurse should have told you and been HONESTso he could remain at home to die. She was not. I've dealt with nursing homes for over 6 years now. My mom is now in the 5th one in 6 years. ALL have neglected and/or abused her and when I saw it, (bad)..I moved her back in with me. But as she was abusive to me as a child, teen and adult..it was never longer than a few months when she started trying to hit me again and doing VERY bad things. I'd find another nursing home to put her in again. Been doing this for over 6 years as I said. Sometimes, when I take her out of one that is neglecting her or abusing her, it is right after I've paid them her share of the montly bill which is all but 60 dollars of her SS check each month. They also get another 5K from medicaid and medicare. They KNOW they've neglected and/or abused her as I confront them about it and tell them I'm taking her back home with me. The next day, I call and ask for mom's share of her money back since she wasn't there the whole month and now the burden is on me again. Not ONE nursing home has ever gave her back her money. It's not right and those type of people will NOT go to heaven.
Taking care of an elderly parent or parents is NOT like taking care of a baby. Babies move forward with their progress and elderly go backwards with NO progress. Times are tough right now and it is taking both husband and wife to make ends meet in most cases. If their are paid caregivers to come in so many hours to do things for your elderly parent, then why not pay the person who does all the work 24/7? I take care of my Mother 24/7 and have for 2 years in my home because she does not want a stranger coming in to help her. They set me up on a program that does pay for what I do except, either with the election or for some odd reason, there is a hold on accepting new patients and caregivers. I seriously need to go to work, because of the economy and coal, that the mines where he works was shut down. There is NO job out there that is tougher than being a caregiver for an elderly parent.
Chlopesgrams2012----you said that "They set me up on a program that does pay for what I do except, either with the election or for some odd reason, there is a hold on accepting new patients and caregivers" What state are you in? What is the name of the program. This is the first I've heard of a family member getting paid for caring for elderly parent. Please, elaborate. I never got paid one red cent. This is something I've heard many on this forum ask about. Can you share your experience about it??
We are in West Virginia. There is a program called Central WV Aging, and other programs that do the same. There are a lot of people who work for these programs that take care of the elderly and disabled so many hours a day. My Mother has been accepted into the program and I have been hired as her caregiver, but right now, don't know if it is an economy thing or political thing, there is a freeze on new patients and caregiver hiring. When the freeze is lifted on new patients and caregivers, then we are to be accepted into the program. The bad part is this freeze has been on for nearly a year and there have been quiet a few patients on the waiting list passed away. They assume this may be a political thing and are waiting to see what the election brings in November, with the way all these programs have been cut. I found out about this program through the welfare office when I went to find out if there was a way to get her medicines discounted, and lower prices on Ensure and Depends. They directed me to this agency. I have already went for my CPR and first aid class and am waiting on the hiring freeze to lift. If you have any other questions, please ask. I will be able to tell you more when we get into the program.
Wow.. at least WV has something.. a little hope for caregivers. I hope you are accepted into the program! Hope..that's all we need sometimes to continue. Nothing like that in KS. THANKS for posting this for others!
I take care of mom full time and also am caregiver parttime for neighbor. I finally got neighbor home care, cooking cleaning appointments wasnt able to keep up both. The kicker at the time was I could apply with the home health care company and they would put me on their payroll and still provide the same services and be paid by them, all the neighbor had to do is request me to be her aide. She is on medicade they are paying the bill for her. They come out and do assesment of how much time and services are needed. Call and talk to a home health agency.( Personally I did not do it, call me dumb but I just couldn't justify being paid to take care of either of them. I know they both would do it for me if the situation was reversed.) In other peoples situations I would suggest it if your in need of much needed cash. I think they were going to pay 15 to 20 dollars an hour. She qualified for 20 hours a week services she can still go to bathroom etc. but each case is different.
I am a caregiver for both my elderly handicapped husband and my even older mother for 5 years now. I am getting very stressed by always having to be somewhere and never having enough money. It is difficult to continue to plan all the doctor appointments, deal with their stress because of reduced capabilities. I fell I am not a productive member of society because I don't work and don't contribute to many projects out of the home. I usually don't see anyone except my husband, mother, doctors, and nurses, physical therapists, and members of my church. I'm tired and stressed and just wish I had enough time and energy to take care of everyone and everything. I'm just venting I guess.
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/how-to-get-paid-for-being-a-caregiver-135476.htm
I would get an attorney. They STOLE FROM YOUR DAD.....that is FRAUD. They need to return 26 days of money to you. Had similiar probs. with NH in this area. NOT RIGHT---STEALING FROM ELDERLY.
I recall when my mother was filling out the paper work for the residential home, and the nurse who had gone to visit my father in the hospital prior made a comment to my mother filling the paper work out that the $3000 would not be reimbursed if he passed away sooner? My thoughts on the matter, was being a nurse she knew that he had not much time left but I could not prove she knew. Had we known it was just a matter of days we would have brought him home instead. Not because of the money issues but we would have liked for him to have passed in his home. But how are you to know these things.
patients on the waiting list passed away. They assume this may be a political thing and are waiting to see what the election brings in November, with the way all these programs have been cut. I found out about this program through the welfare office when I went to find out if there was a way to get her medicines discounted, and lower prices on Ensure and Depends. They directed me to this agency. I have already went for my CPR and first aid class and am waiting on the hiring freeze to lift. If you have any other questions, please ask. I will be able to tell you more when we get into the program.