Follow
Share

My sister is the primary caregiver for our mother. I lived out of state for the last year and a half and have not been able able to help much. Now that I'm back, how do I integrate without my sister feeling I'm trying to take over. She has moved into Mom's house with her family. I want to help out. Is offering to come over 3-4 hours a day so she can have some time to her self too little? I've been gone a long time, please provide some insight, I'm at a loss.......

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
You are wonderful to be so sensitive to the whole situation. Please go slow, but offer to help. Give specific suggestions, as you mentioned, by saying, "Could you use a morning off each...." Fill in the blank. Let your sister know how much you appreciate her and all she has done, and that you are there to give her any help she can use. Please praise her efforts. You sound very sensitive, so I think you'll make this work.
Take care,
Carol
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Let her know you are there & available for her.
"Anytime you need a break sis, you just let me know. We can work out a plan & I'll do what I can to help you."
Should be sufficient, & if she doesn't take you up on the offer right away keep asking.
GOD bless you for helping & being willing to learn the ropes.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

OMG--would you like to be MY SISTER?!?! I would faint if my sister even once offered to take my Mother to the bathroom while she was here for a visit, so I could finish preparing lunch and not have to change hats. Yes, God Bless YOU. Just thinking of this has made me CRY, and I try not to cry very often. Good Luck and Lots of HUGS to YOU!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I think it is a very kind thing you are doing, many people just stay away. I agree, let her know you are there to help, offer to do errands for her or ask what she most needs, maybe even just someone there while she takes a break. Keep communication open when things come up...Good Luck.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Be sure to tell her that you don't know what she needs unless she tells you. Make sure that when she does ask you don't have to say "no" because of other commitments or she'll think you didn't really mean it.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I agree with all of these people! I would also cry if
my sister would offer to do ANYTHING
to help with my parents. All she does is call my
parents and complain about money, with no
regard as to how they are suffering in their
old age. Offer ur help slowly. It will take her time
to realize it's ok to take help. God bless u
for stepping up.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Jersey, you say to your sister 'I have always regretted that I couldn't help you take care of our mom, leaving it all on your shoulders and I'm sorry. Let me make it up to you sis, give me some duties to help you out. Put me to work!'. I think that will empower her a little and keep her from getting defensive. It would me. She's been in control for so long you may have to help her loosen her grip a little. Merry Christmas.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.