How can I be the "perfect" caregiver for my mother?
So many things Jacqueline Marcell says are so accurate and she says to put on the emotional shield to deflect the behaviours. I agree except that I already know that if I get upset with mom after repeating myself for the 16th time on every single solitary issue that comes up during the day, mother will get upset and we'll have a downward spiral that goes on for days. So, I pay the price for showing ANY frustration or lack of patience at all. It's really hard to not let anything get to you - bitterness, resentfulness - I actually think I do pretty well most of the time but eventually, I just am worn out repeating the same things over and over and over and over and over and now, putting on the emotional shield just means I am to be perfect ALL THE TIME and never, ever let any of this get to me. I'm really scared and alone. I can't just walk away for a few minutes b/c mom can't be left alone. I can easily see myself having a stroke and where will that leave her?! I just needed to vent this morning, I guess. Sorry