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my friend parent are in the upper 80 and nintys one has full blown altiheimer and the other has too take care of her and he is 90. My friend is ex- military and needs help the whole family does mentally and money. They need to put her in a home but money is very low what is out there for them.

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Have them call the VA Doctor and ask them for a Social Worker for them and they can give you all the info they need to tap into his/her pension which can be used for long term care and Aid and Assistance, they have to fill out the paper work completely and its a lot. It usually will take up to 8-9 months for it to kick in but once it does then all is well, also have them sign up if there not already getting Medicare part A and B that will cover nursing homes and Assisted living and varies by where you live. Good luck and best wishes.
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One route might be to talk to Elder Services in the town they reside in, they are a great resource of information. Also, talk to a social worker at a nursing home they might be interested in and they can guide you as well. Don't worry about money being low. I found out through experience that once someone is admitted to a nursing home, you pay what you can to the home from monies available. The patient is allowed to keep no more than $2,000 in a bank account and you apply for medicaid. The process might vary state to state. That is why the social workers at the nursing homes are the best to talk to as they are familiar with all this on a daily basis. It is important to visit a few nursing homes and have a tour with an administrator to decide which one to pursue and which would be the best. Nursing homes have improved greatly from the past, but some are better than others. From what I have seen, even the best ones accept medicaid.

Hopefully, all will work out. You are a good friend and your help will be so appreciated - it is an involved process and I wish you well. Take care.
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Redbowgirl,

I am sorry to hear about your friend and their mom. The financial aspects of aging and care giving are a problem for many people these days. Unfortunately, there is no easy way around this. The following articles might be able to give you some insight and hopefully help you with you friends situation.

Check out our special Veterans Assistance section to find out aid and assistance or benefits information.
https://www.agingcare.com/Veterans-Assistance

Good Luck,
Karie H.
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