How can I help my mother bear the two weeks until surgery for a painful prolapse condition?

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The doctor says that the only thing to be done to relieve the pain is to push the prolapse in; there are no suppositories or other local meds. We did put a Lidoderm patch at the base of her spine (it is used 12 hours on/12 hours off) in case it could numb the area a bit and we are also using Lidocaine ointment on the local area. Since she doesn't remember she calls me many times a day to tell me that she's in pain. I feel terrible! We have tried everything to get an earilier appointment but it's just not possible. She is 91 years old with an indomitable will but the depression and the pain are getting to her. We offered small doses of oral painkillers since she can't get up and do her normal activities anyway, but she refused them because they make her woozy. She has a good point in this since the likelihood that she would get out of bed and fall is very high. She does have a live-in aide whose room is on the other side of the living room but the risk of falling (and confusion) is still high.We just started with a home palliative care progam in which a nurse will visit her twice a week. The nursing staff at her residence is also available. I know that I have done everything but it's awful to watch her suffer. Any ideas?

Answers 1 to 4 of 4
my mom has same thing, but cant operate-she is too fraile-
there ust be something she can take to relieve the pain-
at least to some degree-
keep askin the doctor and if u cant convince her it will help her,
i hate to say it- but try it out by putting in in her food? half of the dose?a small amount?
and maybe the aide can just stay closer to her(physically) just to see how
she reacts.
its very painful-its amazin she can have the surgery-
hopefully the 2 weeks will pass quickly-
my thought are with u-
huggggs
k
Top Answer
I agree. Mom is in no condition to decide not to take pain meds. I hope you have a power of attorney as a health care proxy. I would give her pain meds to make her comfortable and not let her suffer. If it means that she stays limited in bed for several hours, so be it. Perhaps she should be helped out of bed in the morning and given a little exercise, then after 12:00 noon, begin the pain meds to help her rest, sleep, and wait for the surgery.
I think the trade-off between curdling pain or woozy is a null choice. I'd choose woozy and painfree for myself. The woozy is temporary until surgery versus pain everyday until surgery. I would beg my Mom to take the painkillers, just until she can get the problem corrected.
It is normal to be nervous waiting for surgery especially for some of us-she may have had a bad experience in the past-I have trouble going under and the lights and being in an operating room freak me out and I was a nurse-I told the anesthesiologist this and he sedated me before I got to the OR last time-see if you can find out what exactly her anxiety is about and I would give her the pain med now-maybe the aid can be closer to where her bed is for the time bing-please let us know how she does with the surgery.

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