What can I do for my mom to bring her spirits up?

Follow
Share

She's always sick & battling with congestive heart failure, double pneumonia, osteoarthritis, fibromalgia, diabetes, & a huge hematoma inside her stomach-which the doctor won't do anything about. Shes been sleeping alot. I have a hard time spending time with her because She's always crabby and mean with me, & a bit controlling. When I want a break, she tells me I don't need one or when I want to go and do something she makes me feel guilty for leaving her alone. She says she wants my company but I'm with her 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. (I do get out to do grocery shopping and to go to a religious service but thats it) So my question is What can we do together that may help lift her spirits and maybe make her less grumpy?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
20

Answers

Show:
My mnl is just about in a negative mood every day. I try to get her to listen to the birds singing outside or look at pretty clouds and blue sky and sometime it will work for a little while and she is only in her mild stage of AZ. However, we are now working on a scrap-book photo album even though she said it will be mine when she goes and she makes that sound like its going to happen tomorrow but she will tell her doctor she is fine. Anyway, the album is old photos and I have label names on them for her. I also told her that, "this is for her and not me and if she wanted me to bury it with her when her time does come that I will, which shouldn't be any time soon." I think I got a smile out of her and I let her small colorful stickers so she can decorate it as we fill each page. I personalized her name with gold letters on the inside of the book with a big angel and she loves it.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Sumlerc, most packages of epson salt have a warning for diabetics. Check with your mom's doctor, though -- that warning doesn't necessarily apply in all cases.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Allarck, so glad to hear that things are getting better, that's something we dont often hear. I see I must do more research! My mom is diabetic also, foot soaks aren't good? I actually took a foot pan and Epson Salt with me on my visit yesterday but something told me to hold off. Glad I listened to my instincts! I would feel HORRIBLE if my good intentions caused harm.
Thanks for keeping us posted, I won't give up on my Mom and Dad even though Dad has long given up and Mom seems to like dweling in the world of "I can't", I'll rest but I wont stop trying.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

So many great suggestions here, thank you all.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Thanks for all the suggestions. Will try some. She's been helping me in the kitchen lately. Got out yahtzee and she plays it every night before she goes to sleep. Next thing I'm gonna try is a game night and a movie night and have her help me with laundry-she can fold. She always feels so worthless, so I've been having her help out in the kitchen and make out the grocery lists, then we both search for coupons to cut down on expenses. I also went to the library and checked out some books and grabbed some free magazines (which people donate) she likes recipe books. Computers/internet can't ever take the place of turning the page in a book/magazine. She likes getting emails, so when I'm going thru all my emails I'll watch for funny jokes, tasty recipes, or other fun things and send them to her. In one day alone I sent her 15 emails--it really made her day. I have tried the foot soak, but being a diabetic its not a good thing to do for her. They can get cuts and sores. Can't afford the full spectrum light but I have been keeping the curtains and blinds open to give off light. Something must be helping--she's getting better.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

First you must think of something that happen to her long, long time ago and you must bring that back to life,You must add more positive laughter to it. suggest trying to rekindle those moments as close as you can get to it;;;also tell her how much you appreciated her as your "MOTHER";;and for teaching you the important of becoming the woman who you became..She sounds like she wants the praises and honor from the past,, and future just from you,,and only you !!!try it,, it is all about her and making her laugh again....
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I understand your dilema! I have the same problem with my mom. She's not mean, but just sits at the kitchen table ALL day, smoking and staring, holding her hands over her ears or face. She denies any pain. She doesn't have or want any friends, refuses to do any sort of activity. I've tried to get her interested in SO many things but she has no interest in Anything. It makes me depressed and irritable, and I feel SO guilty when I need to lay down to take care of my own pain, and my own emotional state. My mom is on an anti-depressant. Maybe meds for depression would help your mom if she's not already on something? You need to have time for yourself or you will get sick yourself. My thoughts & prayers are with you! - Kathy
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Thanks Quakerite, I'll look into it and def let you know. WOW, that's so wonderful for your Aunt. I just love hearing stories like hers, good for her! :))
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Sumlerc: I got my spectrum light at Alicks Medical Supplies. Any similar store should stock them, if there isn't an Alicks in your neck of the woods. I have also seen them - for about the same price - in the catalog Gaiam. I forgot to mention too that my aunt also attends an adult day care (where I got hired one day a week as a nurse) 3X weekly. It's great - gives her exercise, activities, lunch, 2 snacks, social life, a religious service on Friday (mini-Mass for Catholics, bible study for Protestants), and her favorite: Bingo. If you get the light, let me know how you like it.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Great ideas! @ Quakerite, where can a spectrum light be purchased? @Stephan, I LOVE the foot soaking treatment, on my next visit wit my mom,this is just what I will do, Spa time!
@AlLarck, respite care sounds like it will fit the bill for you. It's so important that we take breaks and do things that we enjoy. Life marches on, don't get left behind. Best wishes to you.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions