How do you help an alcoholic, xanax addicted dad when he won't do anything the doctors or family members suggest?
My dad has congestive heart failure, prostate trouble, high blood pressure, is very hard of hearing, and has depression. He takes nine medications, including Xanax. He washes down his meds with beer. Other than a cup of coffee or a glass of tea, beer is what he drinks all day.
He refuses to do anything he is asked to do that will help him get better. He is also on oxygen full time. He frequently becomes verbally abusive, cursing and accusing everyone he knows of being a liar, a thief, and or conniving sneak. To top it off, his wife has dementia. She frequently has to call her daughter to come and get her out of their home because she fears for her life. Then she whines and complains because they won't take her home. They can not stand to be separated but can get along when together. She is driving him crazy because she "can't do anything" and can't remember anything. She will ask him the same question five times in the span of several minutes. He admits she needs help but refuses to get any because he doesn't want her to be "locked up". She and her family are afraid not to supply his beer because he has such a temper. But it is the beer that is the root of all the hostility. He feels like they need someone to stay over nights (not just anyone only a member of his family), she doesn't want anyone, family, friends, or paid caregiver. She said they do just fine at night. Within the last few nights he has walked around drunk and has fallen and cut his head. Does anyone know where to start? I am one of his six children. Two of my siblings live out of state, one is an over the road truck driver and is seldom home. When he is, he needs to be with his family. One sibling, who lives the closest to dad, says he can't deal with it. The burden has been placed on one of my sisters, and myself. Even though I am retired, I am limited in how much I can help because of my husband who is not very sympathetic with the situation. He sees him as an alcoholic, drug addict who abandoned his wife and children for another women. Other words, he made his bed now let him lie in it. The sister who is left to shoulder the burden has a supportive husband but also has a job and two school age children who need her. God bless her! She is trying to do too much. Can anyone out there offer advice. Thank you so much.