My 79 year old, healthy, widowed Mom wants to go into a nursing home. She lives in her own home at the present and is in good financial condition. What are our other options?

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finance condition. My brother and I have been very good children. We have educated our children, they are all professionals and none of us have ever asked for any money from my parents. Mom is paranoid and negative about everyone and everything. It is as if she doesn't care about her family. She seems mentally fine, but I fear she has a personality disorder. Of course she won't see a doctor, doesn't trust them, so it is hard to deal with her now. I am fearful of what the future will bring. How do I get her help.

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Thanks, it is good to hear others with this issue. I feel for you as I am living this too.
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Madge, you CAN have her admitted to a behavioral medicines department at a hospital. A psychiatrist will evaluate her for 5 days and hopefully give her meds to help with that anger issue. My Mom acts the same way, which is why I told you to get her into the hospital. She could be helped by meds as my Mom refuses to accept any help from doctors, medications, me, she gets mad when you help her and when you don't help her, so I am at a point I just don't have it in me to do anything, I just do what I can to keep her fed and her bills paid.
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She will not go to the doctor, they are just after her money (this is a quote from her). My father passed away almost three years ago and she still complains about his doctor bill being padded by the hospital (no cost to her). She also complains about the cost of his funeral, that also cost her "0". SHe is lonely, but has no friends, never has, and hasn't been to visit me in Florida for 10 years, now what elderly person doesn't love Florida? She is in excellent health. She never calls me or anyone on the phone. My brother provides her with free cell phone service. I have a rocky relationship with her due to her distrust. She holds grudges for decades. I could go on and on but the point is this is a real and serious problem. I just want to know how you get someone to the doctor who doesn't trust or like any doctor she has EVER been to.
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She also may be lonely and thinks that there will be companionship at a nursing home. Have her evaluated by a doctor
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Thanks for the comment. Mom has been this way for a great deal of her life. It took me having a family of my own to recognize it. That is why I feel it is a personality disorder. Could be dementia as well. Thanks for caring.
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This doesn't sound like a personality disorder, it sounds like the first stages of dementia.
You should suggest she see a psychiatrist. There are medications that will alleviate those feelings/ thoughts she is having. I prefer to see specialists in a particular field, family practice doctors are good in their own right, but when a serious problem is developing such as this, the specialist can work with your Mom and get her back on the right track.
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