bpryor01 Asked April 2011

I'm on my first vacation from caregiving in 3 years. I can't afford to go anywhere, so... what do I do?

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Last night I made strawberry margaritas and slept deeply for at least 7 hours. 1st time in 3 years for 7 hours of sleep. So... what should I do now? I can't seem to stop worrying about my Mother's care, how she's doing, how my sisters are doing (they buddied up to care for her this weekend and one sister is taking all of next week off to care for our Mother) and my urge to call is near overwhelming.

What do you all do for no budget vacations?

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SherylS Jun 2011
I say just call :) What's funny is being on a vacation means your suppose to be enjoying yourself, but worrying about your mom is going to keep at you till you do it. I'd suggest to just sit down, kick your feet up, relax with music and maybe just let your mind wander to the things that make you happy. If a mood strikes you, then just do it ;) ,, If it doesn't, then just keep sitting.

The great thing about a vacation means you don't have to do anything. Easier said than done too, but if you just try to let your mind wander to what makes you feel good, you might be surprised at what you find. So what if calling your mom makes you feel good. Just because you're on vacation doesn't mean you have to avoid her. What's funny is even when I'm on vacation, I still take care of my mom. Not because I feel like I have to, but because it makes me feel good. I've tried going places, but I can't relax. It's much more relaxing to know I'm here with her and she's doing good. Then I can pick up the book, or go for that walk, or just play games if the mood strikes.

Just go with whatever it is that makes you feel good, feel really good. There's nothing wrong if that feeling takes you nowhere. Maybe where you are right now is where your heart is and that's the best place of all.
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jeannegibbs Jun 2011
If I had a free week I'd do a project I haven't been able to devote time to. In my case, I'd work on getting photographs into albums -- but only because I love doing it, not so I could get some "chore" done.
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toadballet1 Jun 2011
Have a "stay-cation." Do all those creative things around the house that you have been putting aside. Take up a new craft. Sit outside in the sunshine and read. Write long emails and letters to friends. Take a nap in the middle of the day. Garden, if that is your thing. Bake some yummy cookies then eat them! Take long walks to clear your head. Take your camera to a new part of your town and take "artsy" pictures. Visit museums, even small towns have them.
I just commented to my hub this evening, that the last time I felt well rested was when I was in the ER a few weeks ago. I felt like I could just lay back and have others take care of ME for a change. Isn't that the saddest thing you've ever heard?
So make every day count - and, for heaven's sake stop worrying about Mom...all will survive. HAVE FUN.
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dizzyrider Jun 2011
Anything you like. Get together with friends especially if you have lost touch. Take a drive or relax at the lake or park or anything you USED to enjoy. Meditate, get in touch with your body and mind, take a long walk as though you haven't a care in the world. Pray and thank God that you have sisters who are caring and compassionate enough to allow you this time and be GRATEFUL for all the good things in your life. If you have a pet, spend time with him/her, they are the only reason I find to live much of the time. Hug your friends, go out with them for dinner or for the evening. Wahhh, I am jealous!!!!!!!
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DT Apr 2011
I have so many interests that I have had to put aside while looking after mom my problem would be that I would not know where to start, but to share with someone else, I would treat the house as my own again, like putting on a symphony or opera at top volume and singing along (mom can't stand excessive noise, even though she has selective hearing like a dog, and can't hear me while I talk to her in a normal voice in the same room), and then I would watch some of my favorite movies on vcr or dvd that I cannot enjoy while she is around (she does not like anything that does not have the equivilent of Fred and Ginger dancing off into the sunset together - British period movies or art films are beyond her comprehension) and I can only watch when she is not awake.... Just getting time to read without interruption one of the mountain of books I have stacked up would be a luxury! As it is, I am living like a monk sworn to poverty so that I will have some money to spend on what will probably be my last European vacation, which, by the way, I do on a budget.
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I am a firm believer in "mini" vacations. Make it your priority to catch up on sleep. Go to a craft store a discover a new, inexpensive craft that you can do even when your mother returns. Join a support group and meet the people in the group. This will give you a support group later on when your mother returns. Do the things for yourself that you used to enjoy such as read ( stash up on books at a used book store), get a new haircut, and go shopping at yard sales or consignment shops if money is tight. Start planning your next vacation and save for a state cabin on water somewhere so you get a new outlook on life. Best wishes and I hope you have fun.
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wizardia Apr 2011
Look up places and things to do in your state...you can usually find something affordable and close...or jsut stay home and veg...do what you feel like doing. Trust that your sisters are very capable to take care of your mom, try and relax and enjoy your time to yourself.
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Jennie Apr 2011
Get a healthful amount of sleep each night. Listen to music you like, but haven't got to hear in a while. Dance-even all alone. Contact a friend who always made you laugh, but who you haven't spoken to in a while. Watch funny movies you haven't seen, but wanted to. Eat delicious, healthful foods, including plenty of fruits and veggies. If you've been neglecting your healthcare, get a checkup. Catch up on any beauty care that makes you feel good about yourself, but has been neglected (e.g. color your hair). Get plenty of fresh air. Go somewhere you can see spring flowers. Wear only clothes that are comfy, and make you happy. Sing. Smile. Laugh. Go for a walk. Pet animals. :)
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N1K2R3 Apr 2011
Oh you mean she's not dead yet? Your "care" is not over then. You are just taking a respite/break.
If you have three days, go to the beach or to the mountains, which ever is your favorite spot. Put it on the C card. Have room service or delivery of food/drinks to you place in the sun. Be sure to say thank you to whomever is delivering this important service. You'll know how great it feels.
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Sounds to me like you are off to a great start with Margaritas and sleep. Where do you live? Maybe there's another caregiver living close enough that you could meet up with for an afternoon. I hope your weather is nice enough to get out in. Do whatever you find pleasure in!
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