Mom has short term memory and lives with us. She is 95 and in good health. We are thinking about having her live with my brother and sister 4 months each. Would it be too hard on her?

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4 months each. That would give us a break. Both siblings live out of state. My brother and wife work, my sister doesn't. Would this be too hard on her. Ass't Living Facility is costly.

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Yes, assisted living is costly, but changing the living situation of an elder that often could have very negative consequences. I'm not saying it couldn't work, and I definitely see that you all need breaks, but moving is hard on anyone that age. Confusion can set in to the point that it kicks memory issues and other behaviors into full-blown dementia territory. Of course, this could happen anyway.
You'll have to figure out what is best based on her personality and the family needs, but my feeling is that moving her around won't be good for her.
Good luck with whatever you choose. It's rarely an easy call.
Carol
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I'm sure my siblings wouldn't help. It's just hard on my husband and our relationship.Mom won't let me bring anyone in to sit with her while going out for the evening. She does hallucinates and thinks I'm steeling some of her belongings. At times, she is very difficult and other times she's a sweetheart. Her Doctor feels that we should take away her checking account and be firmer with her. She receives Social Security and checks her bank account everyday to make sure I'm not taking any money. Can't imagine how feisty she'll be with me if it's taken away from her. I think my brother & sister will approve, especially since Mom doesn't live with them.
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Go for it. ... It's wonderful when siblings share what in my book is a huge family responsibility.

Have your siblings send pictures along with "I Miss You" cards. Then, in short plain English sentences, tell her you all love her company and want her to spend 4 months with each one of you. At 95 I'm sure she's still quite lucid, so choose your words carefully to make sure she doesn't feel like a foster child.

-- ED
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When my mother-in-law was first diagnosed with dementia, her primary doctor who is Asian, suggested that her three sons take rotating months taking care of her. While I held my breath, she said absolutely not. But then like I said her doctor is Asian, and it's normal with that culture for the sons to take care of their parents. She's in asst living now, and believe me I know it's expensive. She HATES the thought of spending all that money every month, but I told her that we were so thankful that her husband had made enough good decisions leaving her money in her old age, to take care of her. Otherwise the boys WOULD have to take care of her. One brother is 2 hours away and already said it wouldn't be him, the other brother travels much for his job, so that would leave us (rather me).
While I love her and we get along great, it would be stressful she and I both know that. As far as the stealing stuff, my mother-in-law also thinks the girls that work there are stealing from her. It started out they were stealing her clocks, glasses, bananas and now it's her yogurt. She's eating, moving or hiding so many things that she can't find stuff anymore so she thinks it HAS GOT to be someone else. She knows I don't believe her and tell her that she's just forgetting, but she just says 'I know you think I'm making this stuff up, but I'm not, they really are stealing'. And we just forgive each others faulty thinking. ha.
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I AM LOOKING FOR SOME ONE WHO CAN HELP TAKE CARE OF MY MOTHER SHE IS 93 . I WOULD LIKE SOME ONE WHO WANTS TO MOVE IN WITH HER ANDHAVE FREE ROOM AND BOARD AND BE PAYED 250 TO 300 A WEEK WE HAVE A CAR THAT CAN BE USED FOR SHOPING AND TAKEING TO THE DOCTOR DO YOU KNOW WHERE I CAN GO TO FIND SOME LIKE THIS I CAN TRUST
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I am taking care of my 95 years old Mother on a 24/7 bases. How much sould I be
getting for sacrificing my life for her from her estate?Hope to hear from some of you. Thanks.
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Unfortunately - siblings tend to feel that the care we give THEIR PARENT should be completely voluntary and out of love and the kindness of our hearts - while they live their lives to the fullest and call once in a while or visit once a year or two. :0) And once it is all over (and in some cases - even before that - and that's a whole other story) any estate should be divided equally.

It is a RARE family who will come forward when all is said and done and say - geesh sis - we know you spent ten years caring for mom 24/7 - we think YOU should get the majority of what's left. It is NOT going to happen. Nope. Nada. You may or may not get a 'thank you' even.
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