Who do I turn to about being harassed by Area Agency on Aging and dysfunctional family members?
I am a caregiver to my mother and grandmother. I go above and beyond to make sure they are well taken care of - and I have even went as far as to put my own personal life with my husband on hold to spend my days/nights taking care of them at times. (Thankfully my husband is very understanding!) The issue I am having is that a family member who has caused nothing but health general life issues for both my mother and grandmother is continually contacting the Area Agency on Aging and falsely reporting abuse, neglect, fraud, and more. (For instance: saying that my grandmother gets locked in a tiny room, doesn't get fed much of the time, is left alone constantly, is not allowed visitors/phone calls, and is physically abused - to name a few!!). It is at least 1 time per month that these people come out to "investigate" the claims made. In the beginning I laughed at the thought that this person came thinking there was something very wrong happening and in the end, saw that my grandmother was a VERY happy/healthy woman and then immediately closed the case. However, now we are close to 10 "investigations" where my grandmother (who had 2 strokes and cannot speak well or even say her name when asked) is put through the ringer with nonsense questions. Being that she isn't able to answer, she gets upset and depressed that she can't get the words out to explain that this is NONSENSE! However, after that many visits - this agency is STILL harassing us because of that 1 family member who is constantly calling them. After so many "investigations" turning into a total joke and everything claimed to be false, I am now at the point that I am seeking advice and help to stop the harassment. If there were anything found to be wrong at any point/visit, I may understand the repetitive "game" they are playing with our lives - but there has NEVER once been anything wrong or true that was reported and I cannot understand why these people cannot see they are only hurting my family - not helping now after so much of it. Does anyone know what to do or who to contact regarding harassment and false accusations? I am aware of the option to contact a lawyer to help - but we cannot afford that right now and even so, I do not want to have to put my family through anything more than we already deal with from this nonsense. If anyone has had a similar experience of even knows of a place to contact about getting this stopped - I would greatly appreciate anything you can offer! If it matters, this is all taking place in Pennsylvania (not sure how laws differ regarding this type of thing according to each states laws). if you could please contact me to let me know (or hopefully I get a notification to return here if a response is left. Thank you all in advance....I am at the end of the rope on this situation and do not know where to turn for help.
17 Answers
Popular Questions
Related Questions
- Elderly aunt being pressured to move her mobile home! Is this a form of elder abuse?
- I have a sibling who is mentally abusing my parents and won't leave the house. What can we do?
- What should I do about old nieghbor using my Grandma for a commission?
- How do I deal with my mother's financial debt and siblings who are financially exploiting her?
My advice would be to contact an Attorney and possibly the FBI. I think the FBI actually investigates abuse of government agencies for purposes of harassment.
God bless you.
It sounds like it is your relative who is harrassing you. I think I would start by talking to the police department. There are laws against what that person is doing.
The protection agency is just doing its job, in a way. And maybe the files are closed after each incident, so the history isn't obvious. I'd write them a nice polite letter thanking them for the work they do protecting vulnerable adults and explaining your situation in concise detail. Ask them what you can do to avoid further wastes of their time and further distress to Gramma.
Depending on the outcome of these two steps, you may want to bring this up with your local state representative, and/or the local news media. It is a fine human interest story.
Good luck!
The office on aging is culpable here. Obviously they are not asking the complainant the right questions in order to determine whether there's actually a problem. You may just want to call their office and ask for their grievance procedure. If they have one, you'd want to follow that on up the chain of command.
Good luck to you - Iet us know how this situation plays out.
Are you being harassed by APS?
The first: As my 92 yr old motherinlaw has deteriorated with her dementia, and after she was hospitalized twice, we hired a live in care giver for her. Since both of her son and daughter live 2- 3 hours away, we relieve the care giver 2- 3 times a month.
On my SIL 's weekend she would swear up and down her mother was getting wonderful care. As it turns out the SIL would demand her mother wait up for her to arrive as well as keep her mother awake until midnight even though her regular hour of sleep is 8pm, and even though she would be falling asleep in the chair. She says my mommy likes to spend all the time with me she can. My SIL would refuse to give my MIL her meals, medications ontime. She also would not adhere to the medical advice from the doctor for her mother. After breaking her hip my MIL's balance is poor so high heels are an issue of safety. After my SIL being told this she insists her mother can wear the heels. My SIL brings her married boyfriend on most of her weekends and they have their gin cocktails 2-3 of them. My MIL because of her dementia would never remember or recognize the poor treatment, and say why she had a wonderful time.
The other perspective is I am a medical professional and oversee my MIL's care because in the past my SIL has neglected needed care and used her financially. Taking care of an elderly person never mind 2 of them is hard enough without someone accusing you of mistreatment. If all your relatives hygeine needs are met, they are fed properly and on time, given their medications, are in a safe environment, are not taken advantage of, receive the necessary medical treatment , there is no cause for reporting to Office on Aging. It is important to keep good records.
If someone is making false allegations, first I would see if you are able to find out who is doing that. It does seem to be harassment and they are making false reports. There are laws against doing that. I would gather up all the information from the office on aging they allow you to have. If there were unfounded accusations, I'd have a lawyer send a letter to the person who made the complaint to cease and desist.
See All Answers