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My mother has a small dog that is her baby. Taking care of this dog is more important to her than taking care of herself. Now that she is in the nursing home and not adjusting well, the staff said to wait until she is more resigned to being there before bringing the dog for a visit. I can not take the dog into my home and now I feel like I've traded caring for my mom 24/7 to caring for a dog that I have to leave at her house. All of this has happened in this last week I am going to have to get help to clean up the house it's and taske care of other issues like finances, etc. I feel that mom seening her dog might be good therapy down the road, but what suggestion does anyone have in the short term? Thank-you to one and all for the continued love and support.

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I have my dad's 2 dogs. His rat terrier loves him dearly and it is always a lift to my dad when I take her to see him. It has been almost 3 years and she still is so excited and happy to see him and does not want to leave him. It makes him feel good.
PUT UP A FENCE for the dog and take care of it. Like one of the other posts states - the dog IS a family member.
I also took in my aunts dog when she died. Her kids and grandkids were going to take it to the animal shelter. It was such a nervous dog after losing its "dad" and then it's "mom" that it took me 3 months to get her calmed down. But when I think of my aunts loyal dog being dumped it makes me sick. Her children and grandchildren who have been fighting over her estate,,,, dumped her dog. It is truly sickening.

Wonder what God is thinking of them? Wonder what aunt Sis is thinking of them?
Sure it is an added expense I cannot afford :) and an adjustment but God gave me resources and the dogs are a blessing now.
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Unbelievable I remebered the cats name it is Oscar(I am shocked I did remember).
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There are not too many people my Mother recalls when I mention them to her, not even her son or her grandchildren but since this quextion arised here I asked her if she remmembered "jacob" gave her time to think she said aww the dog I miss him! Memories seem to be stronger if there is some sort of emotional feeling attached to the memory good or bad. Think about a song you here on the radio and it triggers you to remember a time and place associated to the song. The song brings you back almost to that memory, maybe that's why songs are strong in the minds of people who have memory loss. There is a story I also read in readers digest about a cat If I remember correctly his name was Oscar. He lived in a NH it's is a good story I am going to see if I can google it.
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Thank-you everyone for you support and suggestions. The staff are looking forward to meeting "Bucky". They have a little beagle name "Lucky" that visits everyone. The only reason that it was suggested that I wait a while before letting Bucky visit was so mom could become more settled, she is still insisting that she can come home and at times combatitive with me and the staff. This is an adjustment period, not sure from day to day how she will re-act, her physical health is still weak and her anger is not helping. Hope that I can take the pup in sometime next week. I know they miss each other and it will be good for both of them to see each other. Anyone have any suggestions on how I or the staff can start getting her to understand that she will not be going home, because its not safe for her and she needs to be where she can start getting better (if that's the right phrases to use) or should the Doctor speak with her this coming week when he visits? Bless all you pet lovers. NiniBug
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I was very fortunate to find an assisted living/aging in place residence where my dad can have his 2 cats in his private room WITH him. My dad is bed bound and this place is a real blessing - it is like a home rather than an institution. Even though a dog may be more of a challenge to place because it doesn't use a litterbox (although there are some interesting products on the market along these lines for dogs....) You may find something like this in your community for your mom. The one I found is in the country only 5 miles from my home, so I can swing by several times a week on my way to town to do litterboxes as to not be a burden on the staff. Also, it beats the heck out of all the nursing homes I looked at. It isnt covered by medicaid but the owners are really willing to work with people. Good luck.
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I don't understand what would be the hurt in allowing your mother to see her dog, she already has lost so much independence, dogs are like our babies, what would be the harm in letting her see him, and him her?? Was this a real person in charge that said it wasn't a good idea or one of the care aids? Sometimes well meaning cna's try to give there advice but its is up to you. If you think they miss each other let them have a visit.
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This just happened to me. My mom just went into the nursing home 2 months ago. My dad just had a stroke 2 weeks ago. So I now have the dog. The dog was protective of my parents, never liked me to go near them. He is now my best friend. Both of my parents' adore him. My mom has Alzheimers but will ask everyday how the dog is. I am able to take him up to visit her, usually once a week. It is very good for her.
My dad is in rehab in the same facility. He asks me all the time to bring the dog in.
The dog is 12 years old, a shiz tzu...hasn't got much longer. It's the least I can do for my parents. I have 4 cats, but we are now one big happy family!!
I do feel for you, and understand what you are going through...there are many of us out here going through it also. Fostering is your best option right now. Your local shelter or SPCA can help you out.
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I agree with you Lilliput... we have a little westie too... and My husband teases me that I can be semi-concious and be looking for my dog!
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I'd also like to encourage you to do what you can to get your mom and her dog together. Before I brought my mom to live with me, I belonged to a therapy dog group and went to nursing homes and hospitals every week. It's amazing how seeing a dog can brighten someone's day. Also, please consider that the dog is also going through a grieving process, being away from the love of his life. Finding the proper home for it is important also. If you really feel that you can't take care of the dog, try contacting a therapy dog group in your area. Perhaps someone there would be willing to take the dog in and take it to see your mom. I know that when my turn comes, I will hope that someone will bring my dog to see me!
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I have my Dad's dog... he died in July! She is a little yorkie... I absolutely dread something happening to her!!!
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Thanks everyone, mom's little peke is pretty special and I wish I could bring him to my house but right now I can't. The nursing home said I could bring him to visit and that the other residence would enjoy him too. Mom had a quite day today not as hostile, but she thinks that now she can come home it's only been a week so she is not adjusted yet, I realize that this will take time (kind of like taking 1 step forward 2 steps backward, everyday) Oh Well! I am checking on a foster home with someone in our community so "Bucky" has companionship and care until he can start visiting mom. We have always had dogs and other pets and they are one of Gods answers to comfort and healing. God Bless & Good Night All.
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WUV:

Your comment went so quickly to my heart I had goose pimples. Of all of my "weaknesses," the love of animals is top. I grew up in a farm in western Brazil north of the city of Manaus. All creatures seemed to want to check me out, and I believe they sensed I didn't mean them any harm. (They ran from my grandmother because she often went out hunting to put something different on the table.)

Here in The Bronx, I had three gentle, well-trained pitbulls. Peach, the female, was my guardian. She slept at the entrance to my bedroom and gave laser looks to my dates as if to tell them "Honey, get your own man. ... This one's taken." She got sick in 2002 and had to be euthanized. Peter, aka "Midnight," followed in 2003 after a sudden kidney infection. White Boy lived to the age of 14 and was also put down in 2008 due to respiratory problems.

The cat, Pussygata, is got the house all to herself now and looks so lonely. No dogs threatening her life; mice don't pop up anymore because there's no bits of dog food left, so she doesn't hunt. Roaches followed suit and moved next door with the Ofikurus, a huge Nigerian family that subsist primarily on fried or boiled fish and those decadent root vegetables that now I can't stop eating.

I wake up with the Spring sun shining on my face and the chirp of many birds. I miss the dogs and all that healing, unconditional love. ... Mother Nature, however, is slowly replacing it with other wonders: pigeons, swallows, a stray garden snake. So I say a healing "Thank You" out the window every morning, and pass on the love these animals have given to me free of charge to every breathing object of art; and like Jacob, expect nothing in return.

WUV, thanks for your healing words. Bless you.

-- ED
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The nursing homes here have "pet therapy" days. I am wondering if they will allow you to take the pup to see your Mom. If not, at least she'll get to see him on outings. Dogs are amazing...they are my favorite of God's creatures...with humans coming in a distant secong (just kidding...or not! :o) I really hope you work things out and find a temporary home until the dust settles a little bit. You have a lot on your plate right now...it isn't an easy time, I know.
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I never saw my Mother happier and more content than when in the company of pets. My Mom stayed with my friend everyother Saturday during my work hours. She had a puggle,a lap dog for sure, "Jacob". Well he was the best medicine ever. From the minute they saw eachother, they both were so happy, she needed him and visa versa. She never wanted to go home with me after him. She never wanted to wander either. My dog a few years back saved her from a house Fire which is what set off her early dementia. Dogs are natural care givers and healers, NO ?, wanting nothing in return. More dedicated than any human I know, including myself. All dogs came from a single wolf that a man befriended and they have evolved at a faster rate than any other living creature each with unique strong abilities and purpose for the life cycle and nature. Wolfves were removed from Yellow Stone National Park and without them the whole ecosystem was dying off, trees, plants, bugs, animals, birds...the park returned them and now it's thrieving. They are ontop of the food chain for a reason - life doesen't exist without them. They have the title "Mans Best Friend" for a reason! I would take the dog to see Mom and take it from there. People don't always know what is best for life but nature does. You know what's best for your Mom and I bet the Dog knows even better. The hard part will probably be taking the dog away from her.
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NINI:

The pooch is family, and Mom will be heartbroken -- and furious with you -- if anything happened to this special love in her life. His life is in your hands now, so please make sure he's well taken care of. Do it for Mom, me, and every other dog lover in this forum.

You're a blessing Nini.

-- ED
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Lilliput, thanks for the suggestions. I am going to check on a foster home that sounds like a good idea. I know the little guy misses mom and I try to spent time with him. I am also going to check with our vet he's a great guy maybe he can help too.
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As an avid dog lover, I wish I lived in the same city as you because I would take in the pup!
Is there anyone in your family, or among her friends, or yours that could house the pup until you get things under control? A neighbor, perhaps? Or would an older child in your mother's neighborhood like to earn a few dollars by caring for the dog temporarily? Could you contact your local ASPCA, let them know the situation, and ask for temporary volunteer foster parents? It really isn't good for the pup to be alone too long during the day...dogs get stressed too - and I am sure he misses your Mom.
If I were in your Mom's shoes I would feel the same way. Our little guy means so much to us. And if seeing the dog will help with her mental state, that is just the silver lining.
good luck and I will keep brainstorming...
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