How do I handle a Mother who refuses to get in-home help for housekeeping?
For several months, I have been telling my 72-year-old mother that she needs to hire some in-home help for laundry, light cleaning, and grocery shopping. She needs to have a backup plan, because quite frankly, I'm getting burned out and I need to take an occasional break. She lives 40 minutes away, so at least it's not that far. But the weekly visits take about a half day to accomplish everything.
But my requests to come up with a back up plan go in one ear and out the other. She has the money to hire someone, but she won't budge.
I had a social worker from Visiting Nurses (agency is now providing in-home PT and nursing services following her month-long hospital visit in June) talk to her about the same thing. The social worker told me today that my mom seems resistant to the idea, which was not news to me. However, in a few weeks, no one will be coming into her home every week. It'll just be me. And I'm not going to be able to provide the level of care/assistance she needs.
So I am at a loss. My mom has no incentive to do anything differently because I keep going over every week and doing all the laundry, grocery shopping, etc. And she does need assistance. Most times, I'm happy to help, but I feel like I can't take a break. So I've decided that she's not going to do anything differently unless she has to and until I force the issue. So I've decided I'm going to start going over there every other week. I feel guilty about doing this, but my mom is apparently not as concerned about my health and well-being as I am about hers. And I'm starting to feel very resentful and angry that she won't even meet me halfway. I've given her fair warning, though. So I figure this is the only way to force the issue. I feel like I'm being taken advantage of ...
I'm interested to hear how others have handled similar situations and whether you have any suggestions.