How do you handle unreasonable siblings?
A bit of history - We built an addition on our house for my parents 12 years ago and I have been responsible for their care ever since. My mother went into a nursing home 2 and 1/2 years ago. I bring my father to visit her almost daily since he does not drive anymore and his walking is not the best. I shop, cook, clean, bring him to the doctor appts., have an another member of the family stay with him when we leave for extended periods. Most of you are all to familiar with this scenario.
My niece is getting married next week. It's too far away for a day trip. At one point we thought we could bring my father but he realized that it was an unreasonable expectation so he decided to stay home.
After a family discussion my husband decided to skip the wedding to stay with my father. All my "kids" are going to the wedding.
I told my sister (the mother of my niece) and she's livid and told me that they are all extremely upset that my husband, who decided to take care of HER father, isn't going to the wedding.
She said that we should have a friend check on him once in awhile. What she refuses to see is that he needs to be checked on throughout the day. Fortunately husband and I both work at home.
Once my father falls he can not get up on his own. It's happened before and we needed to get the fire department to help him out of the tub. Imagine if he was stuck in the tub for an entire day?! He has a Lifeline buzzer but it would be terrible for him to go to the hospital alone. The drama of waiting for help and watching the fire department break down the door would be enough to give him a heart attack.
Did I mention that he is 97 years old?
This not new behavior for my sister. 3 years ago my mother fell the night before our family christmas celebration. She was in excruciating pain so I called 911 and we took turns staying with her in the hospital. People with Alzheimers don't make the best patients.
My sister said that I should have waited till after the party to bring my mother in. Really!?
Do you see what I'm dealing with? I should be fine with this but I still feel like the heel. Which is basically what I've always been accused of being by her. I can't seem to accept that she's never going to like any decisions I make which might have an impact on her life.
I would really appreciate feedback, thoughts, your experiences.