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Usually I can snap my mom's delusions away but lately she is trying to convince us of them & truly is concerned and paranoid. Actually thought I had someone else in my bed other than my husba nd which made her very upset. Trying to dismiss it made it worse. Other times she thinks there is another portal that she visits at night...talks excessively about these delusions. I think I'm losing my mind! How do we deal with it without screaming at her?

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Yes..don't argue it only agitates and makes them more frustrated. I shake my head and tell my mom. I don't know? Or are you sure? Sometimes if I point out that she just came from her bed..maybe it was a dream? She thinks about it. I know it's hard to agree..but sometimes I will just tell my mom when she is afraid that she's safe here and everyone is okay. But if its on going...check with the nurse about getting a lorazepam to calm her nerves..it might help.
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I've heard it said that young people have dreams and older people have visions. I hate the fact that a mental illness can take away the people we love even though they are still here. I've give anything to have my mama back.
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Cattails, yes, it is a little ironic that we work so hard at ensuring a long life -- maybe we should be careful what we ask for! Lewy Body Dementia is especially cruel, it seems to me, in that the person is in and out of it, with periods of lucidity when they know fully what they are facing. In one of his lucid moments early in his disease my husband complained bitterly about being cheated -- why couldn't he have died quickly of a heart attack like his brothers instead of lingering on, losing his mind. Very, very sad, for sure. For the most part now, my husband is content, too. He has accepted his disease but he is adamant about no measures to prolong his life. He likes being tucked into bed, too. Our men are lucky to have us, aren't they? :-D
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We all spend so much time worrying about what we can do to avoid a heart attack or some other potentially fatal happening. I'm so sorry for all of you who have to deal with a beloved family member who is losing their mind. How flipping cruel is that? It's such a long road and requires so much understanding from those that love them. I don't have to deal with that. My dad is failing health wise; he has little vision, very hard of hearing, can't speak but a few words. It's stroke related and he can't do anything for himself. Sometimes I have to feed him because he's had another TIA and can't handle a spoon, but he is content. He's glad to be with us, sleeps quite a bit, loves to be tucked into bed at night and kissed and told he is loved. All of that is comforting to him and I'm grateful that I can at least give him that comfort. I'm so sorry for you who have to face the failing of the mind. God Bless you and give you comfort. And my God find a way to comfort the ones you love. I am so sorry for all your suffering and loss.
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Thanks for your advice! Mom also sees dead people. Wonder why??
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I understand that hallucinations are hard to treat, and the drugs that might help could also make them worse. :( However, since the hallucinations are disturbing to your mother I would definitely talk to her doctor about them and consider carefully monitored drug treatment.

As for your reaction, I guess I'd try the generally recommended approach of validating her feelings, acknowledging her reality, and trying to distract her. This is much easier when the hallucinations are benign than when they are disturbing! You are certainly not going to say "yes, Mother, you are right. I was sleeping with another man." But maybe something along the lines of "Oh, Mom, you poor dear. I can certainly understand how upsetting it would be for you to see another man in my bed. I don't blame you at all for crying. I've got to tell you that I love Hubby very much, and even if I didn't I would not have another man in my bed while I'm married. I am so sorry you thought you saw someone else. It must have been a trick of the light. The only man in my bed is Hubby."

Sometimes my husband's hallucinations involved dead bodies or other topics I would find disturbing but he was not disturbed by them. In that case it was easy to go along with them. "OK, I'll stay out of the bedroom until the crime scene investigators get here. Should we play a hand of cribbage while we are waiting?" I didn't have to deal (so far) with the hard ones that distub the person having them. My heart goes out to you. I hope that Mom's doctor may be able to come up with something that will provide a little relief.
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