My mother, who is a highly functioning 84-year-old, stepped over the line as far as verbal abuse. How do I handle this?
She has always used me as her"whipping post" although I was always her child that stayed out of trouble and was attentive. She glories in feeling that she " has the right to be mean at times because of her age" and she certainly did so with me on Wednesday. I am her primary care giver and what she did not realize, was that I had just left a therapy session with a diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome due to years of being the child and adult child who dealt with her drinking as well as the major issues with my father's very painful and drawn out death. I am a recently retired teacher (35 years), and want to start enjoy life without anxiety as I take care of my mother as well as at least one older sibling. I intend to be emotionally healthy. Mother insists on living on our farm in the house that my Dad left to me by herself. (3400 square feet/189 years old) with no neighbors.I have checked on her religiously day after day to ensure she lived through the night or had not fallen and was safely locked in at night. My question is: Since I have had enough, what can I do to ensure her safety without daily contact? I am thinking of every third day, perhaps. My siblings all live long distance by phone and are much older themselves. The younger one is either in the Middle East or Africa. I know I am whining, but I truly want to change my life without neglecting her. I hate to say this, but she has never been very kind to me and I am never a priority. I love her, respect her as my mother, but I do not like her. Thank you for any help you can give. I am looking for solutions.