Follow
Share

My Dad, soon to be 90, is living in a retirement apartment. He is still able to care for himself but he calls me many time a day usually for the most trivial things. It is like I am talking to a toddler most of the time. I know he gets bored, but how can I talk to him and not make him feel he is a bother to me or belittle him? I know it is just something I have to put up with, but if anyone else has a parent who does this it would be helpful in knowing how you handle this. Thank you and Happy Holidays.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
When my grandpa was more with it, we would write a note for him by his chair. e.g. "X will be home at 8:30." Otherwise he would call repeatedly from the time we left his house till he went to bed. At some point he stopped following the notes but it did help for awhile.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

There was a time that my Mom would call me numerous times a day. I started to look on my call display and not answer if I didn't have the time. Then I would call her back at a convenient time. I know if it was an emergency, she also has my siblings numbers.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

My father did this a lot when he was living on his own. You need to set up boundaries especially when all these calls are trivial. Does he realize he is calling you so many times? Decide what is ok with you. Call him back at 7pm every day if that works for you. Do not respond to each and every call or that will reinforce to him to keep calling. If he is in a retirement home you do not need to be there to solve every little thing for him. You don't have to put up with this.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Are there activities in his retirement community? If he went to sing-alongs or a movie or to hear an accordion player once in a while, that might reduce the boredom and reduce the number of calls.

I'd work on seeing that he has things to do, and then I'd also apply cwillie's advice -- don't take all those calls.

Does your dad know to call 911 in an emergency? Is there an emergency cord in his apartment to summon help? Does he have a medical alert device? If he can summon help in an emergency, don't feel bad about not taking all his calls!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

You tell dad that you aren't always near the phone and then you stop taking his calls. Make sure he knows that you will check in with him at a set time every day (before breakfast? after dinner?) and to keep a list of his needs by the phone.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter