Why does my grandmother prefer my aunt, even though I am the one she sees most and who is her primary caregiver?

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My elderly grandmother is an 89 year old widow and lives independently. I come by 3-4 times a week to do shopping and housework and other small tasks. I see her more than anyone else and we have a very good relationship. I’ve been taking care of my granny for 10 years now. My aunt lives 2 hours away and only sees her during Holidays or when she is in town for business. My mother also visits once a week, but I am the primary caregiver. My granny has bad knees and a bad back and her mobility is limited to using 2 canes (she'd rather die than be seen in a wheelchair) She does not get out of the house, only to see the doctor 2-3 times a year. The only way most people can visit with her is to come into her home, but she won't make the trip out to see them. My question is, why is it that my grandmother turns down our invitations to dinner and other outings but will only accept outings with my aunt? We are the relatives she sees most often but is constantly turning us down saying we give her a short notice when we want to go out. My aunt sometimes tells her a day or two before she actually comes into town. This has troubled me for a long time because I love my granny and want to enjoy her as long as she has left with us.

Answers 1 to 3 of 3
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. My grandmother did this. When my uncle came to town once a year, he was on the pedestal, while My mom took care of her thE entire year through.
Also, your aunt is your grandmas daughter. My mom always took myside if anyone hurt my feelings. Just MHO.
Why don't you ask if she would like to go out 3-4 days in advance. Find out what special food she is really hungry for and go to that type place.

I have Mother 24/7 and the silbings that show up when convenient to them and entertain are wonderful; I am the help in her opinion and theirs. I guess because they have never changed a diaper, held a throw up bucket or bathed her maybe they give her a sense of dignity while I take care of the everyday stuff.
Thank you for your advice. I know she does miss my aunt and her visits really do brighten the day. My family makes arrangements over a week in advance because we know she has to take her time getting herself and the house ready (she is very stubborn). I ask her 2 days before if she is excited about going out and she says she doesnt know if she will be up to it (because her knees and back are so bad). She usually cancels the night before or the morning of because of how she feels when she wakes up. I have grown to accept it. For the one day of fun, she is in pain for weeks afterwards. Id rather her be comfortable and in minimal pain as possible

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