What do I do if my grandfather abuses my grandmother and makes up stories that she is cheating?

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my granfather was accusing my grandmother about messing around with someone and i heard the argument so i kept saying she could never do that only because she is always with him so as he was saying im lying, he lift his hand and was about to hit her, pulled her away and he punched me in my mouth and a blur after that. all i know is that he said its none of my buisness and hours later he doesnt remember what happened. what do you suppose we do. he already said he was going to kill her and her never seems to sleep because hes always asking her questions about money and he so called boyfriend he made up.

Answers 1 to 5 of 5
I think you need to speak to his doctor. He could certainly be a danger to your grandmother or you. Do you live with your grandparents? There are privacy laws that doctors must respect so his doc may not be able to discuss details with you about your grandfather, but you could at least alert him to your grandfather's mental state. You could also talk to Adult Protective Services and see what guidance they can provide. Possibly, they could arrange for your GF to have a medical evaluation. It sounds like your GF suffers from serious dementia and the goal would be to get him medically evaluated and hopefully on some proper medications to control his paranoia and violence.
Top Answer
As cattails says, the doctor who is treating GF's dementia needs to be notified as soon as possible.

This kind of paranoia and delusions is fairly common with dementia. Your grandfather can't help it and you must not think he is a monster or wicked. The disease is monstrous, that is for sure!

While I have great sympathy for Grandfather, his behavior is putting you and his wife in danger. It is amazing how strong some of these frail little ol' guys can be in a fit of emotion. I am glad you are taking this seriously. Talk to his doctor. Talk to Adult Protective Services. Be sure to mention the threat to kill her.

In the meanwhile, if possible try to calm Grandfather down during his outbursts by acknowledging his feelings. "Oh Grampa, how awful you must feel. It must be painful and very sad to think that after all these years Gramma is unfaithful to you. But here is what I know. Gramma loves you very much. She is here with you all the time. I am so very sorry that you saw something that makes you think she is running around but I know that she isn't. We both love you and want you to be happy." I'm offering no guaranty that this will work, but it is worth a shot.
thanks for the suggestion and yes i do stay with them and new meds he wont take it seems as though even a slight headache will trigger him in accusing us mostly her of trying to kill him. any kind of medicine that he's new to will make him crazy mad. ex the doctor perscibe the lowest dose for his memory and when he took it he had a nautious side affect which led him to believe my gm as trying to kill him. im only 30 yrs old and he has 7 children but it seems as though he doesnt really want anything to do with them. i will take your advise and call the doc monday thanks again.
thanks jeanne, i have tried the soft gentle approach but what he says is the truth there is no reasoning with him what so ever. but i know 1st thing monday i will be giving a call and see what they or we can do. thanks for the advise
Jeanne, thanks for the advise. I will carefully consider it. I am experiencing the same thing and just two days ago. The only difference I have not yet been threatened to be killed. That will probably come later? This is my husband but it is the same thing. Won't take meds, see PCP etc. either. I guess this is harder today as tomorrow is our 25th anniversary. When all this happened I just said, and maybe I shouldn't have, I have a clear consience. An hour later I think he had forgotten. I don't know as nothing has been said since.

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