My mother moved in with me on May 17th after living with my sister for a year after her stroke. My mom has diabetes, CHF, COPD, heart problems, is legally blind and can't hear well at all. There are 4 siblings in our family, only which 2 are accountable for my mom. My sister is way out there and my brother is also married to someone way out there. My younger sister and I are the only ones available to give care to my mom. Our husbands have been very supportive in bringing our mom into our homes. My sister and I live total oppisite ends of the map...her way East and myself West.
My sister would call us and let us know how difficult it was caring for my mother but it didn't register until she came to live with me. I've been reading some of the other posts realizing the feelings I've been having are not only my own. I love my mother to death and would die making her happy, but nothing makes her happy. She was just recently diagnosed with early stages of Dementia and she is always so bitter and negative. She tells everyone that we are taking her money, whereas we were always the ones growing up taking care of her and she trusted us with every bone in her body. My mother has always been babied, by her brothers and by her children. We are now paying for this as she thinks it is our right to take care of her. We always told each other that my mom would never go to a nursing home as long as we had roofs over our heads. We are trying to keep that promise. She makes life so miserable for herself and therefore spreads the sourness to me. I try to please her but nothing makes her happy. I am getting bitter. I workout four days a week at 6:30 am so that my husband and son can watch my mom for me until I get home at 8 to take my son to school, but that's my whole life. She sleeps all day long therefore she is up all night long. I just recently started sleeping in my bed with my husband because she gets up to go potty 3-10 times a night. I can't sleep during the day and I am up 3-10 times during the night. I am starting to feel like a zombie. We are in higher elevations so my mom requires oxygen 24/7 and she blames me for bringing her here. She won't wear her C-pap at night for her sleep apnea and sometimes takes her oxygen mask off at night while she is sleeping unknowingly. Her stats go way down to the 60's. She is always complaining about how she wants to die and it gets old. I ask her why she can't enjoy the time she's been given on this Earth... always a negative turn on it.
I am starting to hate myself for being a horrible daughter. I don't feel like I show my mom the affection I should. I just can't stand to be talked down to and yelled at when she see's fit. I am starting to not like hanging with my mom. Then there are times she can be so sweet. I know this has to be hard for her, but I am falling apart. I really just needed to air. I have read so many posts of people going thru the same. What an awful disease. I pray to God every day for the strength and patience to care for my mom. It's comforting to know that I'm not the only one feeling what I feel... although the guilt kills me. I pray for all of you going thru this and that God would give us the tools we need to get thru this and make our parents stay with us a pleasant one.