MariaMoscatelli Asked February 2010

Help! I need a Caregiver. How do I go about getting one for my 85 year old brother and I?

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My niece, a Nurse, takes care of her father, age 85. I am 80+ and in need of a Caregiver. Could the three of us move in together and she becomes a Caregiver for both of us? Who would pay for her services?

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toadballet1 Feb 2010
Another thing to consider: would you all get along under one roof? Family dynamics change over time. You do not want to go into a living arrangement until you have explored all your options.
For example: would you be sharing expenses with your brother or paying the entire tab for care? Have you looked into assisted living or having your own private caregiver? Are you relatively healthy and mobile now?
As Bobbie mentioned, you need to discuss this with your neice and, if you decide to proceed, make sure that you are very clear about what services you need, what will be provided, and what you will have to contribute finanacially. This is a professional business arrangement, I would suggest putting everything in writing so there are no misunderstandings down the road.

Good luck,
Lilli
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bobbie321 Feb 2010
Hi Marie,

You guys pay for her services on your own or with supplements from the VA or ? depending on your state. A live in caring for 2 people is around 200 a day in my part of the country. that does not include her food, car expense and also does not include her days off which she should take to keep herself healthy.

If you have spent any amount of time reading the posts on this site you understand that caretaking one person is a very difficult thing to do, never mind 2 people.

Marie, if you have a serious diagnosis my heart goes out to you. You are very brave.

On this site also you will find info on 'home care' which is what you are thinking about with your niece. This will give you an idea of the costs of this type of care so you can make a fair offer to your niece. Everybody being happy is the goal. If the caretaker is being taken advantage of financially, or any other way, it will only breed resentment. Just like you would be resentful if someone was working with you in an unfair arrangement.

Incidentally, have you discussed this with your niece?

Good luck and keep us posted.

Bobbie
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