How can I get my mother to get an evaluation and move into a nursing home without throwing a temper tantrum, kicking and screaming all of the way?

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Need to get mom in NH ASAP. Dr. told her we need to have evaluation done and she refuses. She doesn't sleep at night. Won't sit still. And wanders terribly and is so confused. Any suggestions as to how to get the ball rolling without temper tantrums and kicking and screaming all the way? We can't go on like this anymore and need to keep her safe. She actually found an old iron yesterday and we smelled something burning! We thought we had the house "dementia" proofed. I guess we were wrong.

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Suggest just going to visit...get a free lunch at one of these places and go sample the food. Have arranged ahead of time with the staff. They distract her, you leave. Her wishes must not be the primary consideration when the doctor has made it clear what must happen. You may have legal liability for failure to follow the orders. Plan it, do it, coordinate with the doctor and the intake specialist.
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I had the social worker come to the house and mom just thought it was a nice lady coming over for a visit. I told her that the doctor wanted her to go to this nice hotel and stay awhile. I told her there would be activities and coffee and what ever else I thought she would like. I never referred to the nursing home as anything but a nice hotel with flowers and there would be dancing and fun. I put her things and clothes in her room before she went, so she wouldn't be wondering what I was doing on move in day. I just made it seem we were going on a drive to the nice hotel. My mom only lasted 2 months and then she passed. At first she asked about me and then I don't think she remembered being anywhere else. It was the hardest thing I had to do, when I realized I could no longer care for her safely. She passed 1 year ago this July and I miss my sweet mommy everyday!
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How about medication for your mother. How about adult day care? How would you feel about being sent to a nursing home.
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Sunshine, do not take him home. There has to be a longer term geropsych facility that would accept him, and you should not try to do the impossible. One person cannot indefinitely provide 24 x 7 x 365 care and that's the level he needs at this point.
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How can a patient's transition from home to a skilled nursing facility be made easier when spouse can't make up mind and patient spouse does not want to go upon doctor's & professional's recommendation
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Father needs to go into a nursing home. Mom can't make up her mind. Siblings think it is best as well as doctor. Father through a tantrum every time subject is brought up; the PRI was difficult to do because of father's attitude. What can this family do to make the transition easier.?
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My husband is 81 and has dementia and he has no balance. I have taken care of him for 2 and 1/2 yrs. now . 24 /7 by myself. I am exhausted. He is now in a behavioral hospital which is short term. We are trying to find a nursing home which will take him in. No luick they don't want to be bothered with him because he has episodes where he raises his voice and gets agitated. He will upset the other patients. He totally depends on me to feed him, bathe him. change his Diapers and help him in and out of bed. I am totally exhausted and I guess he will be coming back home to me this week. Who ever said there is no Hell. I and he are living it every day.
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My Mom is in the 2nd stage of Alzheimer's. She has always been meek and mild and now she has started hitting me when I attempt to keep her inside at night to prevent wandering. She has started talking non-stop and it has driven my husband to leave saying he can't take it anymore. He has been staying with his nephew for a week now. Now I am all alone in this with no brothers or sisters to relieve me of the stress and all relatives live out of state. I don't know where to start in order to get her into a nursing home pronto. An Elder lawyer charges $300 per hr just to talk to me which I can't afford as I can't work in order to take care of her 24/7. Please advise as I'm literally pulling my hair out over this.
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My parents have been married for almost 74 years. He has dementia and my mother can't take care of him anymore. She is willing to go into independent living and have him in a memory care unit but not unless he agrees. She doesn't understand that he will not agree. The only way we will be able to get him there is to trick him. This is almost killing her and us, the kids. Any advice or reassurance that this will turn OK?
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I haven't had the problem you report since my wife agrees to and accepts most of my suggestions about her care, but, a wonderful, kind and gentle aunt of mine was diagnosed with dementia then Alzheimer's and she became a risk to herself and my cousins; her caregivers.
My cousins had to prevail upon her doctor to have her put into a state mental hospital, which they said was surprisingly nice - clean, quiet and the staff took good care of her. She apparently calmed down quite a bit and after about a month, they were able to have her transfered to a "regular" nursing home.
She died 5 months ago but the family all assure me that she was happier after entering the state hospital and seemed to almost be her old self in the last facility.
I would suggest, if I may, that her Doctor explain to her that she must, for her own well-being, enter some facility for evaluation and care. Maybe her doctor, or even a new doctor if she'd accept one, would be better equipped to convince her.
I wish you all the best, I know what you're going through and whatever you do you'll probably never think you did the right thing but unfortunately there is, for most of us, no easy way to care for our terminally ill loved ones.
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