How do I get my 87 year old step-mother to accept some help?

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My 84 year old father and 87 year old step-mother live by themselves in another town. According to my father, they don't eat regular meals. He is ready to go into an assisted-living facility. My step-mother is adamant that she will not move. She is very controlling and gets upset easily. She won't accept any help from the family or outside help. When she heard I contacted Meals on Wheels, she got upset. My father says she resents anyone trying to help. She is a very strong-willed and stubborn woman. My father is very passive and gets the wrath of it. How can I communicate with her effectively?

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