How can I get my mother to stop refusing medical treatment and medications that help her rest?

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My Mom is refusing medical treatment . She refuses to take medication that has helped her to rest . Will not take a Pet Scan because she will "not be able to keep still in that tube " and Will not have an eye operation that may allow her to see out of one eye . Her anxitey and Paranoia is getting really hard on me to live with .

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As SecretSister says, they do have rights. It can frustrate us, but we can't change that.

I'm wondering if she has a good freind, a pastor, priest or Rabbi who can talk with her. Sometimes they balk at family because they feel bossed around. A third party often can break through the resistance.

Dear Joebruce, what a common problem. Our loved ones refuse necessary procedures and care, at times, too. I don't have a great solution, as they can legally and rightfully refuse any treatment they want, even if it doesn't make sense. We struggle with our loved ones doing this, as well. One parent was a danger to himself and others, and was hospitalized in a Getiatric Psychiatric Ward. Since he refused the medications he needed to control some bahavioral problems, they took him to court to administer the needed treatment. Two big orderlies had to hold him down to give him to force the medications into him. Not a pretty picture. Ours is an extreme example of intervention, and many do not have to take such drastic steps. Now he is stablized after receiving the treatment he needed, but medications changes occur frequently as his needs change. Guardianship was the means to admitting him, (against his will)but even then, they can refuse treatment.

What is the reason for Pet Scan? Sometimes a mild sedative can help alleviate the stress of going through that ordeal. What does her Physician say? Best wishes.
Content is good...unless they're a danger to themselves, or others. Then, it's a judgement call. Hope her being happy gives you peace, 1913.
There are some unobtrusive natural remedies to help calm people. Check out Dr. Bach's flower remedies, which sound very woo woo, but they've helped in Mom's case. There are a few dozen personality profiles, and you chose according to that. You'll probably read one that depicts your mother ... a few drops on the tongue, or rub on her skin even. Rescue Remedy is good for complex stress situations...take it yourself! When Mom had her "wanna die" episodes, I had three remedies I carried in a cell phone holster. They really did seem to help.

You can also try aromatherapy, a few drops of lavender or rose on washclothes, dropped on a ceramic ring on top of a light bulb. Something pleasant to get the situation turned to a more healing and calming direction. I love pure lemon, cleans out my mind.
These essential oils are found in places like Whole Earth Foods, new age book stores, etc.

Don't tell your Mom you are doing it for purpose, but to help make the room more pleasant.
Aromatherapy...anything that helps. Thanks for the tips!
Some parents are really set in their ways and it really frustrates us when we can see what they need and they cannot. There is no way around it, but actually explaining clearly to her, without sounding judgemental or exasperated, but matter of fact and let her know that you love her and want her to be well and to be with you, enjoying good health. Perhaps, when she sees how troubled you are about it, she might just agree to it.
You are a wonderful daughter, to care so much for your Mom.
God bless
It is her right to decline medications and procedures. She may simply not have the desire to prolong what she sees as a state of inevitable decline. Could she feel paranoid because she suspects you are trying to force your will on her? As for meds to help her sleep, there are other things you might try -- soft (maybe even a vibrating) bed, soothing music, 'sleep-friendly' foods, aromatherapy,
back or foot massage, etc.
I guess when and if I get to 96 years old, I'd want to be left alone too. After a lifetime of taking pills and being bugged by doctors, I think I'd just say forget it. At least that's the theory.

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