How can I get my father to accept home health care?

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My 80 yr. old father refuses home health care. He needs a bath, shave, his behind cleaned, and he is unable to walk. What can we do?

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Dig - your dad is probably in denial at his ability and is physical state -it's probably related to short term memory loss. He may be afraid to get in/out of a tub and just too weak to do it. Consider chairs that sit "over" a tub or in a shower - look at gold violin (dot) com or the products section of this site for pictures. If you want to buy one quickly contact a home health care pharmacy to see what they have. Next time he heads to the bathroom go with him and insist that he bathe with your help or the help of another family member. If you let him go like this urinary tract infections and pressure sores are sure to follow - if he doesn't have one of them already. If you notice that he's getting pressure sores just call 911 and have him taken to the ER. They give run all kinds of tests to determine what's wrong and get him treatment. Once there speak with social services about his home, his condition and transfer to assisted living or a nursing home. Once our parents get to this point there is only so much we can do - to "let them be" when they aren't eating, washing or sitting until their legs and feet swell like balloons - borders on neglect. I'm not saying you've done that - your request for advice means you care but you respect your dad too much to get pushy and insist he get help That said, it's time you do it and by calling 911 - you're letting "them" EMTs, nurses and docs- be the "bad guys".

He's luck to have you and your mom to care enough to help! Tell yourself that often -he might get mad but his safety must come first. Best of luck.
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I also encountered the same situation. My dad, at first was embarrased with a female helping him, so my siblings hired a male which borrowed everything that dad owned. That being said...I took over dads care. I wake him, take his readings, medicate him, bath him, dress him, feed him and love him. This has given me the opportunity to pay back all that this wonderful man has done for me during my life. consider this a gift, and if it is possible, do it yourself.
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my dad was home without a hip for sometime due to MRSA I went to his home everymorning before work also had to give him IV for the MRSA so when I got him up very slowly I put him on the potty. When he was finished I just brought in a bath basin washed his hind parts at first he was embarrased and I said hey I've raised to boys and my husband is a man LOL I've seen it It don't do a thing for me LOL he laughed and when I lotioned him etc he said oh that feels so good so than he didn't mind I washed his front parts from behind so he would still have some dignity than when he was dried and redressed I came in with another basin new wash cloth and towel washed his face and hands etc. lotioned him and put clean clothes on him he said that felt good to. than I would get him to wheel chair to his living room where coffee was already opened the blinds and we would sit while his IV dripped and watched the morning news together. flush his pickline and off to work I went, I stopped in at lunch and after work as well made sure he had all his meds as my mother and I could not believe this said I never thought after all these years I would have to take care of HIM!! well what did she think till death do us part meant. Now she expects everything from me and is always comparing what I did for dad and my MIL to herself and the funny thing is she is not nearly as sick as they were physically mentally that's another story its on posts around here somewhere no need repeating. Dad was so grateful once he got over his embarrasment and I would shave him and cut his hair after work if he need either one sometimes we would go a couple days without a shave but he was washed and I wanted the MRSA to go away so I kept him clean , lotioned and powdered just like one of my little boys it brought us closer which we both needed. If my mom would only meet me halfway but she knows everything so I just leave her to her own devices as they will do her in I expect everytime I walk past her room and check on her to find her dead. She is doing nothing tohelp herself. I hope one or two of these suggestions will help you. Good luck and God Bless you
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It depends on whether your Dad is still in his right mind or not. Could it be that your Dad is embarrassed? In which case a male CNA might do wonders. Have an open talk with your Dad and explain to him the options he has- Home Health, caregiver in the home to help, nursing home- take your pick.
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digitelhippie
Think role reversal: what would your father do if you were the one needing care and resisting it? Yes! exactly. So you do what you gotta do to ensure he gets the care he needs regardless of what he says because you love him anyway. Sometimes real love is as cold and hard as steel. And don't be afraid to bring in Authority figures like his doctor, the Local Dept for Aging. They can lay it on the line for him: Either accept home care or you will be committed to an institution. God bless!
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Hi--From what I understand, if you can get him to go to a senior center---some od them do personal grooming right there (if you think this is an option)..Can someone in you local department of aging also give you some suggestions on ways to deal with this problem, it may be worth giving them a call.
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well mariannete gave some good ones and yes a male caregiver would be good
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yes mariannete them are good ones
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Thank you Mariannette! My Dad has no range of motion at all. He can barely make it to the bathroom for personal evacuations. He is very embarrassed(his age group) to let someone see him w/out clothing. I think a bath in his undies would be better than none at all. I am not sure if the agency I have contacted has a male nurse for these kind of duties. But, I am sure going to ask. He could not even be able to get in the tub by himself. His feet and knees and hips wouldn't allow that activity. Any more ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thank you again for your suggestions and ideas and that is for everyone that has gave me ideas and advice. Keep the ideas coming! :)
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Some home health agencies can provide a male assistant. Contact several & ask specifically. Is there a working heater in the bath, are there grab bars, a tub bench or shower chair, soap
& towelsor robe in easy reach, a place to sit once he has exited the bath or shower, a non-slip bath mat? Walk yourself through the bath routine and see if you can spot potential risks, difficulties, inconveniences, embarrassments that your father might have to contend with. Does he have range of motion problems that would make bathing uncomfortable. Sometimes seniors can't articulate just why they avoid bathing; sometimes they are just reluctant to admit having limitations. That's where an outside caregiver might be able to get to the bottom of your dad's poor hygiene practices.
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