irwinsu Asked March 2010

What can I do to get my significant other to understand he needs to be more patient with my mom?

Follow
Share

My mom lives with me and my significant other. We have issues with her opening/closing doors when she shouldn't. She also tries to "control" her cat, and lock it in her room, which seems to really get on my boyfriend's nerves. I just open the door back up, or close a door that needs to be closed. He seems to think she needs to "learn" not to do certain things, but my mom is past the stage of learning. I don't believe she does these things to be difficult, she just does them. This is the second day I have found her closed in her room, unhappy, because she thinks she "screwed up, again". He seems to think the problem is that "we" (people in my family) aren't used to being "called out" on our inappropriate behavior. How can I get him to understand?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
5

Answers

Show:
tinapick Mar 2010
Compromise and caring are difficult on all our partners. They start to feel lower down the chain of needs. Bless them our other halves don't know how much we need them and love them for helping us in a time of difficulty. Finding time with them helps.Unfortunately I still felt like a U.N.peace keeping force at times.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

PirateGal Mar 2010
Believe me she will stay with you because you are her rock now. Just tell b/f (I had to get it into my b/f head as well - that I need more time off to take care of mom as well) that this is a special time in one's life and you need space and time to deal with things. If doors open and shut are his biggest issues, wait till the worser ones come. He better get ready and pull up his bootstraps and be a big boy so to speak...wink!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

irwinsu Mar 2010
Hi PirateGal & KelleyBean: Thanks for your responses. My mom is only 79, but she has a form of dementia which effects her language skills -- reading is becoming more and more difficult and just understanding words is troublesome for her. I am just so worried that she is going to be unhappy and not want to stay with me anymore. She is very sensitive.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

PirateGal Mar 2010
How old is your mama? If indeed if she's way up there in years no amount of training will help cause they are ingrained in their ways so to speak and have routines(they kinda go over the same old ground so to speak). Is the fact that the cat is locked up in a room what bugs him? If so maybe a kitty door installed? Poor mom maybe she senses he does not like her.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

KelleyBean Mar 2010
irwinsu,

im going to agree with both you and your significant other..
your mom can learn.. put up notes to help her remember things.. as in.. do not close the door etc..?

on the other hand.. if your other is not understanding if you speak of it.. then do it by showing..
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

Related
Articles

Related
Questions