How can you get a sibling to realize that just because they live 4 hours away doesn't mean that they can't come and help out once in a while?

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It can be tough to get siblings to just understand, let alone help! My wife and I are my mom's primary caregivers and go through the same frustrating business with my out of town siblings. The best advice I can give you is to be very frank with your sibling in your request for help. You can't sugar coat or minimize the situation in your conversations with them. I like to remind my siblings that I'm not an only child and there needs to be a shared responsibility in my mom's care. Sometimes it works and sometimes it ends up being a fiasco with hurt feelings.
I hear you. I'm alone caring for my father and no one wants to help. I found this home care service, they provide a sitter, a nurse, etc. that will come in and sit with my father if just for a few hours or a day to just get a break. Perhaps there's such a service in your area. My father's sister lives 25 minutes away and I have to beg to get her to take him for the day just to have a break. We are pretty much on our own I've discovered.
I am so sorry you are having this problem. I have had the same problem for the last three plus years, unfortunely, you cant make them help you. I am 30 minutes from my mother and my sister is 5 MINUTES away from her right now
( she is in rehab for a fractured hip). I had a stomach virus last Saturday and Sunday and mom needed fresh clothes for Monday morning physical therapy. I called my sister for I could not get out of the bed for vomitting and I got her voice mail as usual and left her a message and told her what was going on. My sister and I do not speak so I did not expect to hear from her but I did expect her to go get the clothes and wash them and she did not. Mom had no clothes. I have no help with my mother. She has no family and my siblings just ignore her.They do not call or go see her. All you can do is the best you can. Try talking calmly to your siblings and explain how difficult it is for you to do all of your parents care by yourself. You are trying to run 2 households and it is so impossible and stressful. Most siblings are not as contary as mine! Good luck and wish you the best !
You are asking your sibling to be thoughtful and compassionate, and if just asking for their help doesn't bring them running to assist, you may be out of luck. You can't expect a cat to bark or a dog to fly; it's not in their nature. If your siblings know you need the help and don't respond, they are probably incapable of feeling compassion or being thoughtful. It doesn't seem to help you now, but there are rewards for doing the work with your loved one(s), and these will be yours in due time. There are penalties that come with living a life without compassion, and your siblings will find out about these when your parents are gone. Not much comfort, but you know that you are doing the right thing. God Bless You, and good luck.

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