bettyshelp Asked November 2012

Can mom's trust pay me when the time comes and I have to stop working to take care of her?

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I have poa, can my moms trust pay me when the time comes that i stop working to take care of her,or when she comes to live in my home? mom has dementia and i am one of four siblings. the will is split four equel ways . i am the only one caring for her ,the others live out of state and no one visits for 20 years now

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Gmadarlin Nov 2012
Oh yes great idea to talk to siblings to give you money for being there I pray that they will do so in a big way & be thankful for you being there
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Gmadarlin Nov 2012
forgive your siblings & tend to Mother, make sure your POA is a Durable one just a general is not ok anymore also Elder Options call them & ask what they do for you I was paid $106 monthly also if she is a Veteran they also will pay somethin ask questions, & Bless you for being to care for Mother
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Nochoice29 Nov 2012
I'm kind of the same situation. Only I,me and myself is taking care of my mom. 1 of her four daughters. They all lives happy, and I have had the need to resign to my jobs 3 times to take care of her, and Im driving nuts as I don't get any kind of monetary help for doing this as she doesn't have nothing to left in a will Thanks to some relatives that we are living with I have survived but I feel like Crab. In your case,absolutely there should be a way in which you talk to your siblings and explain the situation and they might agree to pay you for the time spending with your mother., as no insurance cover for that service. I just find out that The Children and Family Department on some States have a program called "Cash & Counseling Program" that can paid via Medicaid for a loving one Caregiver. I need to do it for myself this week, so hope this comment can be helpful for you or someone else. Good Luck!
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hadenough Nov 2012
Outside insurance companies are not going to pay you to be a caregiver. If her husband was a Veteran there is a benefit for home health assistance but there are a lot of hoops to jump thru. You can find the link to Veterans benefits on this blog near the top . Good luck. It is such a travesty that insurance will pay big bucks for a nursing home but will not pay to help keep a person in a home - which is a lot less money in the long run. They seem to think that family members do not need an income while taking care of an elderly person - such bunk!!
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Jam Nov 2012
Wendy, I doubt that either of those entities would pay you to care for your fiancee's mother, and any income you have coming in must be reported to SS so that would affect the amount of your monthly payment. Is your sig other working or is he also on SSI? If he is not on any type of assistance, there is nothing wrong with his mother giving HIM some money monthly to pay for gas, food, etc.
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wyldewendy Nov 2012
I am engaged and live with my fiancee'. His mother lives downstairs in another apartment alone, with her pets. She has Alzhiemers and I have now become her full time caretaker. I am disabled and on ssi and medicaid.

She is 86 years old, still rather independent (although I have to watch what she is doing because she makes little mistakes, i.e. putting a salad in the freezer instead of the refrigerator - small stuff like that).

I make sure she takes her meds everyday, get them from the drug store, etc. I also do her grocery shopping, wash her clothe;. cook for her most of the time; bathe her; try to get her outside everyday and do a little exercising and get some fresh air. I sit with her so she can tell me about her life and give her companionship. She does not like for anyone else to do these things for her, just me. I am kinda stuck in the house, unless I can get my mom to come over for a few days (they get along well).

My question is this: With my receiving $698.00 per month from ssi, which doesn't go far, can I get Medicare and/or Humana pay for my services? That would be such a blessing right now.

Thanking anyone who can answer in advance for their time and interest, I am

ww
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Jam Nov 2012
Are you the trustee on the account? That is the person to contact to find out how the agreement is worded. If you are the trustee it's possible you could earn a salary, but I wouldn't do anything without the advice of an attorney, or an accountant or even the bank that controls the account. They have legal managers who could answer your questions. Since your mother's Will specifies that her assets are to be split 4 ways, I'm thinking that protecting yourself from current and future headaches with siblings would be a priority. Make sure everything you do is legal and cannot be challenged.
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Dear Betty, I had the same thing as far as siblings go, I am the youngest of 3, My mom to has dementia, I had put the POA into place when I moved my mom in with me, My sister and brother came down and got my mom while I was at work.. (at that time I worked 3 hours a day taking care of another lady, mom was able to stay by herself for that amount of time that I worked, and then I was home the rest of the day taking care of her.) They came to my front door and took my mom, and my sister went and got Emergency Temporary Guardianship of my mom, all because I had taken their names off of her accounts cause they could just walk into her bank and take all that she had and I would be responsible for it.. Which I might add my sister had done some under handed deal years before that with my moms property that I had caught, so I wasn't going to take any chances, will when she found out I had taken her off my mothers accounts, she was mad, (and looking at it now I can understand why, she don't trust me, I don't trust her) I thought when you were the POA you were covered,, NOT SO!! GUARDIANSHIP TRUMPS POA!... So please just to protect yourself get guardianship over your mother, that way you are covered, it does mean that you are responsible for all her affairs, finances, health, ect, but it also means that your siblings cant come and try to do something underhanded, you have complete control...And you can have your attorney put in the court papers that your mom is to pay x amount of $ for housing, food, and care taking services.. Mine was 300.00 a week, 200.00 for housing, food, utilities, 100.00 a week for care taking, I had to quit my job, to look after mom, so I had to have some kind of income coming in, 300.00 a week is a whole lot cheaper than what they charge at a nursing home, I cant stress enough If this is something you really want to do, get the guardianship instead of poa... I hope this helped in some way :)
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