bobmac Asked September 2012

How do we get mother to go into a residence when she says no and CCAC can not help? Her daughter can not look after her anymore.

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Her daughter has to many med problems right now. Mother can not look after herself anymore, Her doctor asked her about CCAC and she just says no. So he just leaves it. Her son and daughter have done all they can for her She is unable to make her own meals she gets confused and she can not go out of her apartment unless her daughter or son goes and gets her Please we need help

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cdo4fun Sep 2012
Call the hotline......and report it. they will send an investigator out and decide what services are needed. should be in phonebook. Try senior services, division of aging. She needs help now before a disaster happens.
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breadbaker Sep 2012
We recently convinced my father to go to an assisted living facility to "try it" for a month. He was alone in his home, staring out the window, chain smoking, saying to us he wished he would just die...then "get me out of here, I can't stand it". It was all set and then the morning he was to go it was "cancel that out, I'm not going". I was so angry I left the room. My sister stayed and cried a bit and then he agreed. So now he's there only a week and still calling my sister 5-6 times a day for some such nonsense. I spoke about him wanting to leave to the director, who said he doesn't think he should live along (who didn't know that), and suggested that if he insists on going home, fine. The house is in horrible disarray, etc. Director thought an anonymous call to Protective Services would get a social worker into the home for evaluation. Protective Services is also used for people who cannot take care of themselves, not just for abusive situations.
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Bring the help she needs to her. It is disturbing to be forced into some group situation instead of living at home. In home care can offer the help she needs while staying where she is.
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Unless mother is declared legally mentally incompetent then unfortunately you cannot force her into a nursing home or have CCAC come in. Even if you sign her up for CCAC she just won't answer the door when they come. I have seen that happen quite often. I know it is hard to be proactive when you meet resistance like this. If you think she is competent with occasional confused spells then she may have to find out for herself that she cannot manage alone. Alternatively, you could have her assessed for cognitive function. There are 2 areas -cognitive ability for self care and cognitive ability for finances. If she is declared not competent for self care then the Power of Attorney for health care can manage where she lives. CCAC will not be enough. She would have to be in a home-whether a nursing home or a family's home. If she is declared incompetent for self care and you decide to have her go to a home then I caution that unless she is declared incompetent for finances she could just decide to not pay for the home; in which case they will discharge her. I know this sounds technical and legal like but I have seen these things happen in my 35+ years as a RN and an administrator at a Family Health Team and hospital.
I hope this is somewhat helpful as a place to consider starting. My heart goes out to you.
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