My mom has dementia, dialysis, lupus and COPD but I can't get her to stop smoking. What do I do?

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She disconnects herself at night to go smoke and leaves the dialysis cords just hanging. I try to be firm, but i feel like a witch and she feels like im trying to be mom..what should I do?

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I'd be afraid she'd set herself on fire when nobody was around. You really have an awful dilemma. It's hard enough to quit when you're sane, I can't imagine how you can get her to quit if she has dementia. But something's gotta give, you're spending too much time and effort worrying about the problem. As if you didn't have enough to do.
I used to smoke, I know what a hold it has over a person. I had to quit cold turkey because my boss wouldn't allow it. It was tough but the job was worth it. Just to prove how addictive it is, my son-in-law's brother runs short of money some paychecks so he trots his happy butt over to s-i-l's house to hit him up for cig. $ for himself, his wife and son. And people think only drugs are addictive.
Good luck to you,heymomz. Let us know what happens.
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If having all those ills doesn't make a person stop smoking, then I don't know what would. I'm afraid it's gonna be something deadly to give my husband the incentive to stop, but if it doesn't what is there to do? It's a terrible habit, and I think selfish too.
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nitewalk-do you know anyone that had laser done and what were the results? I'm very interested.
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I get what your saying, but its killing her, she cant breathe, she disconnects at night when she is groggy, and has just gotten over an infection in her peritoneal sac. I do understand how hard it is, i have quit smoking after about 20 years, and she does only smoke in the garage. my only request will be to her that she not disconnect herself to smoke... we will see
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thanks nance . i wouldnt want someone take my ciggy away from me .
myhusband would play around and hide them . oh man i get realy fussy and my nerves just flares up . quickly he gives them back to me , :-)
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ihardebeck-you are 100% right !!!
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it is hard to quit smokin , i tried it and it drove me crazy .
your mom has been smokin allher life and takin her ciggy away from her will only make her mean and mad than hell and god knows what she;ll do next .
just tell her she can only smoke outside or out on the porch , no more smokin in the house cuz of the fire or something like that .
its like takin a dog s favroite toy away from him , he ll bite ya !
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You could make an attempt to get her some assistance with a stop smoking clinic. Laser therapy is quick, painless and has no side effects. She has enough going on to rule out patches, gum and more pills.
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I cannot count the times I tried to get Mom to do things that are heathful for her...like exercising, eating well, getting enough fiber for those all important BMs, but, to no avail. She just fired all her in-home help today!
I guess you could say that everyone has been given the gift of free will, so let them exercise it.
However, when it comes to a smoking habit, that impacts everyone. It is also an extreme danger if she is hooked up to all these machines. Stop the supply of cigs and give her lots of hard candy or something else to do with her time. She would not be allowed these behaviors in a medical facility, why should you have to put up with them? You are not her "mom" you are her caregiver and, therefore, it is your duty to make these health decisions for her; particularly in light of her dementia. Really....you have enough to do...give yourself a break from the worry.
good luck
Lilli
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well she does dialysis at home on what is called a cycler, it works overnight while she sleeps. If she wakes up in the middle of the night she just pauses the machine and goes to smoke then goes back to bed...drives me crazie. I am soon going to take her cigs away when she goes to bed.
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