Mom is trying to get rid of me, but she needs help from professionals. How can I get her to get help?

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Mom Needs Help Immediately!I've been noticing increased anger and more resistance in Mom lately. She's been saying irrational things. Her moods and behaviors are intensifying, and she is becoming more evasive and argumentative. She is refusing to follow Doctor's orders, forgetting appointments, declining prescribed medications, losing things, and trying to blame me. Her demands are increasing, and she accuses me of abuse if I don't immediately comply to her stated desires. She is skipping meals, and not sleeping well. She says there is nothing wrong with her, and doesn't understand why her doctors "won't tell her anything." She says she "doesn't need a Guardian, and that nobody told her what that meant, and if they had, she never would have agreed to it." She keeps asking for the narcotics her Physicians weaned her off of, after 40+ years use. She also abused alcohol for over 50 years. She was recently seen by a Geriatric Assessment Clinic, who called her a "very sick lady," having a Severe Personality Disorder, and referred her to a Psychiatrist. She said he "wouldn't tell her anything," and cancelled her follow-up appointment with him.

I only found out last week that she had seen many Psychiatrists and Psychologists over the years, as far back as 1978. I found records while cleaning up their abandoned house. At present, she seems to view me as her greatest threat, and lies about me, thinking if she can rid herself of me, all will be well for her.

Mom recently wrote a letter to Probate complaining about me, so they assigned her an Attorney. He called today, and was very gracious. He asked if she has been seen by Community Mental Health. Until tonight, I didn't see any need or urgency, but upon reflection, and after her strangely heightened behavioral problems today, I am planning on making some phone calls asap asking for help. It is hard to see Mom in such turmoil, and things getting worse, with no answers. I think it's time for help from professionals. This is difficult!

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This is painful for you but too much to handle. In the end only you can decide these things, but it does seem that with her mental health history, you definitely need third party help. I'm glad the attorney was gracious. They see this is her mental illness, not you. That said, they may have to place her in a safe environment, if she is not in one now, and you may have to let others care for her. The drugs and alcohol have done a lot of damage (my opinion), and underlying mental illness seems to be part of it. Please don't feel guilty if you have to let others take care of her. When she is in a better state, you can do as much for her as she allows without letting her abuse you. Work with the officials so you are not under this pressure. She could be a danger to herself or to you. Please let us know how it goes.
Carol
Hi Secret Sister. You have made some wonderful decisions.
Please don't feel guilty about not telling your mom about all that is involved in her meical appointments. Why start unnnecessary trouble. Good luck.
Dear Carol, thank you for you wise and timely response. Many suggestions were made saying mom needs intervention and involvement with Community Mental Health. I called her PCP today, her Psychiatrist, and CMH. Her Psychiatrist has made an appointment to see her this afternoon, and the Radiation Therapy department has moved her appointment to accomodate his schedule. CMH will do an intake if her Psychiatrist decides it is necessary. I called mom to tell her about the change in schedule, and that her "doctor wants to see both of us." She doesn't know I made an appointment with her Psychiatrist. My husband will drive her there with me, so I don't have to encounter her behaviors alone. She needs help, and I am so thankful that they have heard my requests and are acting immediately. Thanks, to you, as well.

Carol, I appreciate your suggestions and recommendations. Yes, this is painful, and I am thankful for your support, and the support of those on this site. I am not very familiar with mental health issues, except what has been recently revealed, and I realize that professionals need to intervene. I hope the courts don't have to force compliance, and have her admitted against her will. Poor Mom.

I hugged her last night and told her I love her. I asked if she loved me, and she said yes, and hugged me back. I don't think she can help herself, and this is beyond my abilities, but my love, compassion, empathy and willingness remain intact. I have no plans of giving up on Mom, but welcome professional direction and assistance. Much prayer appreciated. Thank you.
Thank you.

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