spie Asked May 2010

My 84-year-old dad has stopped eating, is sleeping all day, has turned very mean and won't accept medical care. What can I do without POA?

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Bobbi May 2010
Sorry to say I don't know that there is anything you can do. If your father has dementia he would not be able to appoint a POA. The only other option I can think of is to obtain guardianship. At that point he looses ALL rights and will be deemed incompetent to make decisions for himself. It's a tough call. Legally, if you are the guardian you can force the testing issue but that's not going to make him cooperate, wich brings up all sorts of other issues. Sometimes as much as we wish otherwise, things are the way they are. We don't always have the power to change things. I love the prayer that they say in AA meetings. You know the one; G-d grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the stregnth to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
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spie May 2010
The doctors know what is happening. He was in the hospital for 5 days and refused all testing, therapy etc. The doctor said maybe the beginnings of dementia and some depression along with all of the other medical issues. The hopital even offered hospice care and he refused that. I just don't know what to do.
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Bobbi May 2010
I'm not sure what you could do even with a POA. POA is usually used for making medical and other decisions on behalf of the individual who can no longer make decisions for themselvs. Other than tube feeding I don't know how you can "force" someone to eat. I also don't know how you can make someone not sleep all the time. Sometimesa change in behaviors are indicative of other problems, depression (sometimes depressed people get mean and sleep a lot), dementia, or some other medical problem. Does your father's physician know what is going on? They might be able to offer some helpful suggestions
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