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She has come to the point where she sits in her room and doesn't do anything. No TV radio magazines etc. she just sits there all day long. I have purchased a transport chair to use when I take her out of the facility because she can't walk to the car and certainly can't walk into a restaurant etc. Prior to being in the ALF she was in the hospital (for a broken foot) and then rehab where she used a wheelchair and got around fine. I want the doctor to order a chair for her in the hopes that it would encourage her to get out of her room. The doctor does not want her to use a wheelchair because of the complications that occur (urinary infections, etc) associated with wheelchair use. I understand his point of view because she is incontinent now. However, I am not sure that she is actually incontinent or if she just can't make it to the bathroom with her bad legs. I am considering just buying the chair anyway because when she really wants to she gets into the transport chair and screams for the aids to "take me to dinner, I can't walk" ........The Director says that she is getting very nasty with the staff and wants me to consider putting her in the Dementia section of the home. i really don't feel that she is ready for this. I personally think that a lot of this is just her personality....She had always felt entitled and been demanding and they now are really seeing the "true" mom I am considering just buying a wheelchair on my own to see if that helps. I'm afraid that if I call the doctor AGAIN that he will call the director and get the aides in trouble. They have been very good with her tantrums and I don't want to cause problems for them.
They go beyond the call for her for which I am very grateful. I know this would be going against the Dr. but I feel that I know her better than anyone else and he only has seen her a few times. She is depressed and agitated because she can't get around. She has always been very inactive to begin with, So my question is do I get the chair? Is she better off sitting in the wheelchair and possibly getting around or do I just let her sit on the couch all day?

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I think that the doctor is comparing using the wheelchair to walking. Walking would be better.

I think that you are comparing sitting in a wheelchair to sitting on the couch. The wheelchair would be better, because at least she would have the opportunity of changing her scenery and getting around a bit.

Is she supposed to be using a walker? Could she walk if she made the effort?
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I would be interested in knowing WHY she doesn't watch TV or listen to music etc. Has she just put herself into this martyr position on purpose to punish her family or is this something else? As for the wheelchair, why not rent one for awhile to see if that helps? She could use the wheelchair as a walker of sorts I suppose if she wanted.
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If you think that she would benefit from having a wheelchair or electric scooter/chair, get it for her. Go to your local medical goods store...they are a great resource. Medicare pays for all or part of the chairs, depending on which you choose and they will help you with the paperwork.
If it will get her out to meet with others and get to the dining room on her own, I can't see that the doctor would have an objection. (I cannot imagine that she would sit in the chair all day...they are not comfortable) If he is obstinate, as many are, get a new doc. Really.....what would he want for his family member?
Just remind your Mom to get to the bathroom often (the chair may help there too) to empty her bladder, change pads often to keep dry, and use probiotics (like yogurt and acidophulis) to keep infections away.
My Mom has an electric chair and loves it. I would think most people in your Mom's ALF would have problems getting around.
Also, don't let the facility switch her to a memory unit just for being "cranky" and especially if you do not feel that this is the proper placement for her right now. They should have ways of dealing with behavioral issues.
good luck
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