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2-1/2 years ago, MIL gifted downpayment on our house. She now has moved in across the street. She is having financial trouble because she did a reverse mortgage on her high-end home, paid cash for the new little one, and now the old one isn't selling. She is in early dementia and has had a stroke in the past and is probably heading for a nursing home at some point down the line. We were in the same boat and were unable to sell our old house, which has been successfully rented, so she is on the title and the mortgage for the new one because at the time we didn't qualify on our own, but we do now. The agreement was for her to come off of the title and mortgage when we could refinance, but she is refusing now. I think she is afraid if she doesn't have control, we might move. Can we make her get off of the mortgage and title if we can refi? OR worst case scenario, can we make her take over the mortgage and we get off the title? I am worried that if she goes into a nursing home that our home will be counted as an asset of hers and we could be in danger of losing it. I don't want to keep paying this mortgage down if all is for naught; we have paid 75k already.

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Absolutely, Jeanne; I definitely will.
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ohjeezleweez I advise you to get legal counsel even if you come to a resolution between you, unless you are sure your mother is never going to need Medicaid. You want her to come off your deed in a way that does not make it seem like another gift to you.
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Thank you both of you - I have asked her in writing as matter-of-fact as possible to make a decision as to whether she wants responsibility or not and the concerns we have. Now she is not speaking to me for the time being. At the very least, it has been peaceful the last few days with the silence (small lol). I am waiting this out a little bit longer, but am planning on seeking legal counsel if there is not a resolution between us. It is a great source of worry.
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It depends how the deed reads. If you are "tenants in common" you each own a portion and you can go to court to force her sell.
You can "quit claim" the house to her and you would loose all equity, but you would still be responsible for the mortgage.
Yes' see a real estate attorney.
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See an attorney who specializes in Elder Law. This sounds really complicated, especially if Mom will need Medicaid in order to go to a nursing home. Better to spend a few hundred dollars and get guidance throught the intricacies of Medicaid qualification rules and tax laws etc than to risk doing something that will come back to bite you!

RIght now Mom has an ownership interest in three houses, right? Definitely get legal counsel.
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