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If anyone has any suggestions as to what I can do to collect monies from my daughter and son-in-law, please help? My story is as follows:

My daughter lives in Public Housing and has her husband living there although he isn't on the lease. He works a full-time job and she collects a monthly check that housing 'pays her' for living there.

Sadly, and really after-the-fact, I realize that they spend the brunt of their money on prescription pain medication they purchase online and also get from physicians. They're always falling behind in their bills because of this, leaving my grandson going without so very much. His basic needs are met (barely). I have custody of her daughter (my granddaughter) because of this and numerous other issues. It's outright neglect.

I've tried helping her so many times, for the sake of the grandchildren. Also because I loved her so very much. In hindsight, all I've been doing is enabling her.

This past July, my daughter arrived at my house in a frenzy. She was going on and on how their electric, gas and cable were about to be shut off.
In housing, if the 'vital' utilities are terminated, it is grounds for eviction.
She had the bills-in-hand and begged me to help her. Unfortunately, I did.
I went online and paid all three bills via my credit cards.

She/son-in-law promised, gave me their word that it would be paid back monthly.
I have asked for something in writing (which is what I should have done in the first place), but there was always an excuse to avoid.
I've asked both of them, politely, to please begin to give me something that I can put towards the credit card payments. I'm getting nothing but excuses.

I brought it up to her yesterday evening, and she began calling me names that I cannot repeat. Let me just say that I am beyond crushed and brokenhearted.

All of the bills show that the payments went to her address as they were her (and his) utilities. Maybe/hopefully, this might help my case to collect?

I'll finish this by adding that I am disabled and on a fixed income. The credit cards that I have are for emergency use only. I have one department store credit card that I use to purchase my granddaughter's clothing, etc.
The child support payments (not much) that I receive pays that bill and extra.
The child support is reluctantly paid by the 'biological father' (not my son-in-law). This child is from a previous relationship and is an entirely different story (book). My ex and I practically raised her because of so much conflict and neglect.

There's so much to this fiasco but I won't take-up the reader's time.
If anyone has any suggestions, please respond. To say that this incident is the proverbial *straw-that-broke-the-camel's-back* would be an understatement.
My thanks to any responders.

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I don''t know if you can legally make your daughter repay you. Jessie mentioned small claims court - good idea, However, I tend to agree that the child in the drug abusing situation is the first priority, and that measures, as mentioned, above need to be taken to protect him, and also the whistle needs to be blown on the fraud and drug abuse that is taking place.
Edmund Burke said all that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. You are a good woman, do something to stop this.
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Annie522,....You need help to get your grandson out of that environment! As someone else here said CANCEL your CREDITCARDS and get new ones and CALL CPS NOW!!!! It sounds like your daughter and son-in-law do not want help to get BETTER, they just want help to continue their habits!!!! Unfortunatly they need to realize that THEY have the problem before anything can be changed. God bless and good luck.............And do not give them any more money!!!
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This is beyond the caregiving department. The only way I can see to get the money back is go to small claims court.
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Call CPS. Now! For one thing, if your daughter is living in public housing and her husband is not on the lease yet working full time I smell a big stinking case of fraud. As a taxpayer, we should not be paying for a drug addict with more income than reported to be living on our dime. Why they don't regularly test welfare recipients for drugs is beyond me. CPS will investigate, and hopefully you can save your grandson from this life. It is their choice, but he does not deserve it. They need to clean up and she needs to become self supporting. Stop paying her bills. Money you add to her income for bills needs to be reported. I'd file a civil case to recoup my money. You may not succeed, but the facts of the case-and do tell it all-should bring attention to the problems you and your grandson are dealing with. The judge will be more than happy to assist you in dealing with them. Do not give them any more money. You are aiding her in defrauding the system and buy the drugs rather than pay bills. The judge will hear you. You may not get your money back, but you will draw a line in the sand and tell them your grandson deserves better than the life they are punishing him with. He needs your help. People like your daughter and son-in-law frost my cookies. By giving her money, you are contributing to the hell your grandson is enduring. Call CPS today. File a civil suit. Don't tell her about it. Let the sheriff serve her (and him). She needs to face the consequences of her life. Your grandson needs to be protected from them.
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Your story is typical of so many of us "elders ".
I have a very similar situation , perhaps this can come under the title of " Elder abuse ".
Like you, because we have so much love & caring for our children it is extremely difficult to use & put into practice not helping.
And, when we have so many needs ourselves makes it even more difficult.
Best wishes for you.
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Annie522, I think I can see straight through the entire problem, and there is NOTHING you can do at this point legally to recoup your money. You voluntarily gave it up to cover their bills. It is not your responsibility to take up their slack when you know their history.

Your daughter has a drug addiction problem. And as long as this occurs, she cannot and will not ever be responsible enough to make higher choices. Her lashing out at you when you ask for repayment of money she needed to save her is a clear sign. They are barely getting by, one child is already in your custody and the other not far behind. If you don't take the child, the state will.

I have seen numerous situations where opiate additction slowly and steadily sucked the life and livelihood from people I know, and have known. (4 are dead, and two were teens. The other two were my ex and his new wife). All three of my sons dealt with it, and still the ugly monster will raise its head and haunt them. Had they had children, I'd have had to take them on to raise, along with caring for my elderly Mom, which is what this forum is all about.

With that said my friend, please see to it the children are safe and sound. Consider the debt a loss and NEVER EVER rescue them (your daughter and her husband) again. Not while this additction is going on. They will tell you they have stopped and they will swear on the Bible, on somebody's grave, whatever--that they are clean. No They will hate you, call you the nastiest, meanest hurtful things in the world, but if you don't let them hit the ground and wallow in their own filth awhile, they will not ever regain their wits about themselves. It takes a hard hit to set them straight. You have the care of one child and you just might have to get the other aay from them to save them too. Bring food and clothes for the child only.

I wish you and your family much healing and peaceful wellbeing.
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Are these reoccurring bills? If so cancel your credit card/get a new account number and call CPS to take care of your grandson, by trying to get custody. I don't know about welfare but maybe there is help for you financially like foster parents receive.
Your daughter will not benefit by your enabling and the child should not be raised in a drug environment. I'm so sorry for you all.
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I'm not sure what this has to do with caregiving of the elderly, but will only say, that knowing what you know about the situation, I would just have to accept that once again I took care of something that she should have figured out a way to do....chalk it up to " lesson learned' and understand that I helped them for the last time.... let it go...
In regard to your grandson, maybe it's time to intervene there via CPS, and at least get him out of that situation... please try to have no regrets... prayers for you to do what has to be done...
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