I am tired of doing all this alone. I am a single 50-year-old women. Where can I find a support group of caregivers my age?

Hey any time I can be of help....Just ask....She is always doing something that i literally at night in bed all alone except for my dogs and the Lord, I have to laugh....If I didn't? I would be crying and have another damn sinus infection...And who wants that? So as long as she is content to talk to the martians? let her is how I see it...I just have to stop being pulled into it....Look hon, we are all feeling frustrated right now....They had, who they are I do not know, but they had prodicted that the baby boomers would be caring for their aging parents. therefore whoever They are? They were right. Here we all are bitching or laughing or crying about what we are going thru....So Hats off to THEY......Hugs to you....Sharon

Welcome Sun, None of us want to do this anymore, but talking to us here does help. It's a good place for support and advice from people who have been at it for a long time. Naheaton's suggestion is also a good one. What illness does your mom suffer? There are many support groups at local hospitals that deal with caregiver issues. You might check with your mom's doctors. Good luck!

Sun: I found out when I started this journey, 3yrs ago, that old friends and many family members just scatter when I became a caregiver. Strange, isn't it? It is so hard to make friends when you are past your 20s or 30s and especially if you have a parent to care for. Although, I have to admit, the friends I make now are so precious to me because they understand what I am going through and how my time is so limited.
The folks here in this forum "get" what you are going through. They have saved my sanity on many a dark night. Many have become my friends too.
Caregiving has some similarities to combat duty...you go through these incredibly tough times with others who are experiencing the same things and then a bond is formed.
I think meeting people through church groups, social organizations, volunteering, school, are all great ways to meet friends. Carve out some "me" time and go for it.
Caregiving for me has been such a humbling experience. It has taught me the grace of depending on others for support. Hope you find the same.
Peace,
Lilli

Something that has helped me considerably was/is to journal the 'Light Side' moments, whether they be words or events that come forth from my Mom. Whenever the going gets to be a bit tougher than what is the norm I review those moments for a smile. Moreover, when Mom dies, rather than thinking of the many ills that are a part of Alzheimer's care giving, I'll have those recorded moments to refer to and remember.

Good luck... and keep your chin up !

V

I understand, i've been caring for my dad alone for the past 8 years, my dad is 74 years old and i'm 40 and i'm soooo stressed but i cannot give up on him because he's my parent. Just know that you're doing the right thing by caring for your parent and continue to be there for your parent.

Hi...I'm Glad you're here!!! When I saw your post, I thought maybe it was one that I posted. I'm 49, single, an only child, and am totally alone in taking care of my mom and s-dad. I love them dearly, but I'm not up to the task of taking care of everything. I have medical issues of my own, but I'm still expected to take care of running errands, doing all of the laundry, vacuuming (which my drs/specialists have prohibited me from doing), etc... I feel so alone and cry often b/c I desperately need help physically, and find myself becoming more and more depressed, and have even been getting panic attacks. I can't handle it all, and when I ask (plead) with my mom to hire some outside help for 'light housekeeping', etc... she blatently refuses.

I'm here anytime you need support. You're not alone totally, emotionally, b/c of this website. It's a great support with wonderful people who understand what we're going through. I wish you had some help though. I do understand being totally alone, frustrated and many times afraid...

Keep reaching out for support.
Kathy

I know the feeling and I haven't been at this very long! I retired from my job (I'm 55) to take care of my 94 year old mom who suffers from dementia. I'm not dealing with a lot of the issues that folks here do but the 24x7 with no time to be on your own really is daunting. I was a mom who took my children everywhere with me but at the time, I still took a little time here and there for myself or my husband and I to do something. Now I'm on the other end and I have my mom 24x7 plus my grandchildren visit sometimes so at times I feel like I am taking care of two toddlers. Lots of needs!

I am married and have a wonderful husband who is very supportive so I do have very many blessings. I just get to feeling very isolated at times. My siblings all live an hour away so dropping by to stay for a little bit so I can leave would take a lot of time for them. My sister comes down once a month for the weekend so that my husband and I can get away. That helps! We just missed the weekend in August because there were too many things going on getting ready for our daughter's wedding. Having missed it, I'm feeling a bit trapped and trying very hard to count my blessings and get out of this down mood.

I, too, would suggest church as an option, or depending upon the condition, you might see if there is an agency in your area. For example, the Alzheimer's Association if you're dealing with dementia or Alzheimer's. Quite often they have support groups. I am planning to reach out to them soon myself. I have a daughter with epilepsy and I know the parent support group at the local Epilepsy Foundation certainly helped!

I wish you well and hope you find the support that works best for you!

Sun, when your folks made you promise not to sell their property, they were probably in the prime of life, and no one even considered that it would end up as it has for them (your dad at least). I wouldn't feel pressured to sell and put the money towards your dads care in asst living/foster home/whatever. That was then, this is now. You might as well sell now, and be using the money for him, cause as soon as he dies your siblings are going to be circling the property and wanting their share anyway. Good luck.

Well, just had one of those weekends where my sister comes to take care of Mom while I'm away. It didn't go well! My sister was supposed to wash her hair and ensure she bathed on Friday and that didn't happen. She gave her regular tea instead of the decaf tea that I listed on the schedule and then wasn't happy when Mom was still up at 11 pm playing cards. My mom got rather nasty - she can - and my sister took it personally. Now we've had to cancel our long weekend in October because she doesn't want to do it.

Good news is that I found a support group of the Alzheimer's Association that is very close and they do activities with the elderly while the caregivers are in the group. They meet the 4th Thursday so that happens to be this week and I'm going to call and sign up. Wish me luck!!

sumlerc, you might be surprised how many people in your church are also care taking, or at least have experience with taking care of the elderly. I would ask around there too.