Hello, I have cared for both my elderlly mother and father for over 7 years. In January of 2010 my father passed away in my home. I have been caring for my mother (now alone) in my home since dad died. She has become mean, says hateful things about me and is constantly harassing me. I broke my hip last November and was hospitalized, went through surgery and placed in physical rehabilitation during that time. I was then forced to retire as an educator of 40 years due to my physical condition. Since she has been living here I have been placed on medication and my physical health is deteriorating. Just last week had 2 endoscopy's to try and find out why I cannot swallow my food. I have 2 capable brothers who have done nothing to assist in helping me with my mother. The one brother is a psychologist (his wife a psychologist also) and they refuse to help in her care. He only calls her and does not drive to see here. The other brother has been absent for many years as he and my mother never had a communicative relationship. You see, I am doing this 24/7 without help and now I have health issues which are serious. I need to find out how I can get help in someone speaking to my brother (the psychologist) that now I need his help. He does not answer my text messages, calls, and when I was in the hospital last year would not let my mother stay in his home...she had to stay in this house everyday alone until I returned from a 1 month stay in the hospital for my hip. I need help as this is affecting my health. How can you help me. She refuses to leave, sleeps on the couch when I have a 5 bedroom home, constantly antagonizes/provokes me, makes me feel guilty. I am harassed by her daily and also she has a urine-like order that permeates. She bathes daily but this does not seem to help. I am an educated women who is worth something...how can you assist in getting my psychologist brother to begin to deal with this situation? Enough is enough as I am worn out.
Hello, I have cared for both my elderlly mother and father for over 7 years. In January of 2010 my father passed away in my home. I have been caring for my mother (now alone) in my home since dad died. She has become mean, says hateful things about me and is constantly harassing me. I broke my hip last November and was hospitalized, went through surgery and placed in physical rehabilitation during that time. I was then forced to retire as an educator of 40 years due to my physical condition. Since she has been living here I have been placed on medication and my physical health is deteriorating. Just last week had 2 endoscopy's to try and find out why I cannot swallow my food. I have 2 capable brothers who have done nothing to assist in helping me with my mother. The one brother is a psychologist (his wife a psychologist also) and they refuse to help in her care. He only calls her and does not drive to see here. The other brother has been absent for many years as he and my mother never had a communicative relationship. You see, I am doing this 24/7 without help and now I have health issues which are serious. I need to find out how I can get help in someone speaking to my brother (the psychologist) that now I need his help. He does not answer my text messages, calls, and when I was in the hospital last year would not let my mother stay in his home...she had to stay in this house everyday alone until I returned from a 1 month stay in the hospital for my hip. I need help as this is affecting my health. How can you help me. She refuses to leave, sleeps on the couch when I have a 5 bedroom home, constantly antagonizes/provokes me, makes me feel guilty. I am harassed by her daily and also she has a urine-like order that permeates. She bathes daily but this does not seem to help. I am an educated women who is worth something...how can you assist in getting my psychologist brother to begin to deal with this situation? Enough is enough as I am worn out. My e-mail is mistymaryk@hotmail.com. My phone # is (661) 424-1957. Cell # is (818) 687-6243. Please ask to speak directly to me. Please assist. Thank you.
I know of this service called Elder Helpers: http://www.elderhelpers.org they have over 5,000 volunteers in the country their facebook cause says. Their site is pretty groovy and I see that some good testimonials are on it but I haven't actually tried the service myself yet.
You can also find information, services and programs at the ElderCare Locator (www.eldercare.gov). Wishing you the best in your search. Support Groups are very helpful. many also will help with respite while you are attending the Support Group.
While you are looking for a local support group near you, keep in touch with this site as it will bring you information, good-sound advice from caring people. It has helped me tremendously and I hope you will continue to visit it and it do the same for you. This site is a daily reminder to us all that we are not alone and just when we think we have it 'so bad' we will read an article of someone who is having life served to them that is much worse than ours. We read, acknowledge, pray and trust in the Lord, thanking Him for His blessings such as this site and Carol for all her good works in helping others .... like us!
I myself called the Alzheimers 24/7 I was given a local near by area. The support meeting meets every month, it has been a lot of help to me in my time of need. If you call the Alzheimer's assocation they also have people on staff to help you and listen on their 24/7 phone line listed its is always a 1-800 number hope this will help. God bless i know it is stuff, the book I am reading for the fifth time is 36 hours day, it as a lot of different reading in it. patrica61
My local church had a bulletin board with help wanted posters. That is where I found my first 2 caregivers. Your local hospital has a list of agencies and support groups. Also , senior services in your area has support groups. I jut found one for Parkinsons and I may go this Friday. Good luck.
There are tons of good books out there. If you want a classic, there's the "36-Hour Day." I can't neglect to suggest my own book of caregiver's stories, "Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories." Jacqueline Marcell's "Elder Rage" is a good one for someone who has a care receiver with Alzheimer's. If you go on Amazon, you'll find all of these and many more.
SecretSister has some great suggestions. Also, your Alzheimer's Association may have ideas, and if nothing else, if you belong to a spiritual community, look into starting one. Caregivers are everywhere and need each other.
I hope you fine a group or start one. Take care, Carol
Did you ask the Social Worker at the place where your mom is doing rehab? How about your local Commission on Aging office? Or Senior Services, Senior Center, or Area Agency on Aging? Whatever the name, most cities have them, or some type of support available. You could even ask at her physician's office if they can direct you somewhere. It depends on the area you live in, and they type of support group you are looking for. They aren't always well attended, because many caregivers find it hard to get out to meetings. If there's a place that offers Day Care or respite services, you may find something there.
I have cared for both my elderlly mother and father for over 7 years. In January of 2010 my father passed away in my home. I have been caring for my mother (now alone) in my home since dad died. She has become mean, says hateful things about me and is constantly harassing me. I broke my hip last November and was hospitalized, went through surgery and placed in physical rehabilitation during that time. I was then forced to retire as an educator of 40 years due to my physical condition. Since she has been living here I have been placed on medication and my physical health is deteriorating. Just last week had 2 endoscopy's to try and find out why I cannot swallow my food. I have 2 capable brothers who have done nothing to assist in helping me with my mother. The one brother is a psychologist (his wife a psychologist also) and they refuse to help in her care. He only calls her and does not drive to see here. The other brother has been absent for many years as he and my mother never had a communicative relationship. You see, I am doing this 24/7 without help and now I have health issues which are serious. I need to find out how I can get help in someone speaking to my brother (the psychologist) that now I need his help. He does not answer my text messages, calls, and when I was in the hospital last year would not let my mother stay in his home...she had to stay in this house everyday alone until I returned from a 1 month stay in the hospital for my hip. I need help as this is affecting my health. How can you help me. She refuses to leave, sleeps on the couch when I have a 5 bedroom home, constantly antagonizes/provokes me, makes me feel guilty. I am harassed by her daily and also she has a urine-like order that permeates. She bathes daily but this does not seem to help. I am an educated women who is worth something...how can you assist in getting my psychologist brother to begin to deal with this situation? Enough is enough as I am worn out.
I have cared for both my elderlly mother and father for over 7 years. In January of 2010 my father passed away in my home. I have been caring for my mother (now alone) in my home since dad died. She has become mean, says hateful things about me and is constantly harassing me. I broke my hip last November and was hospitalized, went through surgery and placed in physical rehabilitation during that time. I was then forced to retire as an educator of 40 years due to my physical condition. Since she has been living here I have been placed on medication and my physical health is deteriorating. Just last week had 2 endoscopy's to try and find out why I cannot swallow my food. I have 2 capable brothers who have done nothing to assist in helping me with my mother. The one brother is a psychologist (his wife a psychologist also) and they refuse to help in her care. He only calls her and does not drive to see here. The other brother has been absent for many years as he and my mother never had a communicative relationship. You see, I am doing this 24/7 without help and now I have health issues which are serious. I need to find out how I can get help in someone speaking to my brother (the psychologist) that now I need his help. He does not answer my text messages, calls, and when I was in the hospital last year would not let my mother stay in his home...she had to stay in this house everyday alone until I returned from a 1 month stay in the hospital for my hip. I need help as this is affecting my health. How can you help me. She refuses to leave, sleeps on the couch when I have a 5 bedroom home, constantly antagonizes/provokes me, makes me feel guilty. I am harassed by her daily and also she has a urine-like order that permeates. She bathes daily but this does not seem to help. I am an educated women who is worth something...how can you assist in getting my psychologist brother to begin to deal with this situation? Enough is enough as I am worn out. My e-mail is mistymaryk@hotmail.com. My phone # is (661) 424-1957. Cell # is (818) 687-6243. Please ask to speak directly to me. Please assist. Thank you.
While you are looking for a local support group near you, keep in touch with this site as it will bring you information, good-sound advice from caring people.
It has helped me tremendously and I hope you will continue to visit it and it do the same for you. This site is a daily reminder to us all that we are not alone and just when we think we have it 'so bad' we will read an article of someone who is having life served to them that is much worse than ours. We read, acknowledge, pray and trust in the Lord, thanking Him for His blessings such as this site and Carol for all her good works in helping others .... like us!
God bless you on your journey.
Carol
You can look up resources by state.
I hope you fine a group or start one.
Take care,
Carol