Should I feel guilty about getting frustrated?
I am the primary caregiver and day after day my Mom seems to be getting worse and worse in terms of not communicating what she needs. I am physically and mentally tired. I have come to terms that I may lose her soon... I think. I ask God all the time that if he needs to take her, HE should do so but HE should stop the suffering. I feel bad I can't do anything about it and I feel guilty that it just might be easier if she didn't have any pain and all was back to normal or that she leaves us. Even saying this I think I am a horrible person for even thinking about it. I have 6 siblings and no one seems to understand what I'm going through as not of them are here 24/7 as I am. They keep telling me "I work all day", "I have my own issues", "I need to care for my family" and when they do help and let me get out of the house for a couple of hours, they make it sound like they are doing me a favor. Isn't SHE their mother as well? Why shouldn't I expect them to help? Why should I expect them to understand? Am I wrong? Those that live out of the city come here and start telling me I should do this or do that and then after 3 or 3 days they go away... so who are they to tell me what to do. All I'm trying to follow is what the Hospice people tell me to do. Can anyone relate. I can't even vent with friends because I am always the one that listens to their problems, so I vent a little and the conversation turns to their "love problems" or whatever else is going on in their lives right now. Is it wrong to let them know that right now I feel it's my time for them to listen to me and be there for me as I've always been there for me? I have so many questions and other times I just feel like "everyone just leave me alone with Mom and I'll handle it on my own". So what do I do? Thanks for listening (reading).