My 81 year-old mother has Parkinson's. My 80 year-old father is her caregiver. Where can we turn for help?

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She was in the hospital last week for a slight stroke, which I later found out was probably because she was not taking her medications regularly. She is becoming very combative, especially at night and my dad is convinced her medications are doing this to her, so he experiments with not giving her some of it to see if it helps. Plavix was the latest one. She is wearing him out! She cannot care for herself without assistance. He is doing all of her care, cooking, and sitting with her. She is having dimentia problems - she sees things and people all of the time. It's heart breaking to him and he wants to care for her but I see his health failing quickly. I live about 30 miles away and work, I cannot be there enough for them. I have been told that hospice may give support at this time? I can go and help them and line things up, but by the next day they have forgotten - or the pill came generic this time - any little thing changes life totally. It's overwhelming. While in the hospital, it took 3 people and sedation to keep her calm at night. My dad is trying to do this alone and he hides alot of what goes on. What are our options for keeping her at home?

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Hospice can help if your mother has been declared terminal within six months. I'm not sure she would qualify, but you could talk to her doctor about it.
It does sound like your mom needs nursing care and your dad needs rest. He will fight putting her in a nursing home, but that may be the only option. You can tell him that if she has professional care, she will be safe and he can then be her husband, visiting her and caring for her, but not having full responsibility. Let him know that he could die first if he keeps this up and then where would your mother be?
Please talk with your mother's doctor about options before your dad (the caregiver) dies. It happens all too often.
Take care,
Carol
My 81 year old mom has alzheimer,parkinson,dementia and Osteoporosis and I need to appeal her case with Star + Plus program in Texas in regauds to H. A. S. hours. What type of information should I suppy to them?
I have the same problem with my father and Pd , my mother is the main care giver and its affecting her health badly. My dad needs full time care he can no longer walk and sees people and bugs etc in the house all the time that are not there. He thinks there is 2 wifes and is very rude and hurtful to my mum who trys her very best for him. It is very hard to watch and my head is spinning wonderding how to help. I go down a few hours everyday to help out but its a the stage my mother is going to have to go to hostiptal for an operation due to having to lift my father around and she will not be able to lift him for 6 weeks. I would need to leave work to support them and in this climate i am very happy to have a good job and would probadly lose it ifi leave for so long! My father would lose the plot if i asked him to go in for rest bite to a home its so hard to no what is best for everyone!

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