How do I deal with family members mooching off of my grandmother?

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My 92 year old mother in law was promised by her granddaughter and daughter in law they would take care of her provided she deed her home to the granddaughter. They promised her that she would never have to go to a nursing home. They also talk her into dropping her long term care insurance that she had been paying for the last 20 years. My husband does not stop this even though he has Durable Power of Attorney for his mother. Three months after the deed was transferred to the granddaughter she decided she could no longer care for her grandmother. I was furious about this whole scenerio and urged my husband to stop what was happening, and it you can believe this, he's a Judge. He goes along with whatever his mother want and now her care has become our (his) responsibility. Every chance his family gets, they are hitting his mother up for money, which is doled out gladly even though they never visit her, assist her, or call her. So my discussion title fits this perfectly, my hubby is stupid, his family is greedy, and his mother is stubborn. I really want to separate myself from this whole mess, but keep getting sucked back in. I'm very discouraged.

Answers 1 to 3 of 3
So basically the granddaughter scammed her grandma. Real nice I must say. You're right, they are greedy and your mother-in-law sounds like she's trying to buy their love and affection. We all know that never works don't we? Your husband, although a judge, is probably too close to the situation to see what he needs to see. I wonder if he could take his personal stake out of the picture and looks at this whole thing logically, if he would have a easier time seeing the truth. Maybe you should paint him a word picture. What I mean is, ask him if he will give his professional opinion of a case that you read here on this website. Then change the names and maybe the relationships of what is really happening to his family and tell him that you read it here. You know, make him see through a judge's eyes instead of the son. Let him 'judge' strangers having the same problem that he is ignoring right in front of him and see what he says. I'm probably not explaining myself very good, so I hope you get what I'm trying to ask you to do. I don't know if you're familiar with the Bible, but in the Old Testament the story of king David comes to mind. He'd just sent the husband of Bathsheba's to certain death because he wanted her. Nathan the prophet painted a word picture for the King.
Look it up - II Samuel 12
That will be much better then me trying to explain myself.
Good luck.
Hello, I'm sadden by what you are experiencing, especially since your hubby is a Judge. My or my, his eyes haven't been opened, have they? My suggestion to you would be to search out mental health therapist. They are a great sounding board and can be helpful in so many ways. My heart goes out to you and I hope you can get some help. Laurie Turner
Family can be the worst & I feel for you. Just when you think they might have a heart it's all about the money. I cared for my parents for 4 yrs & work'd full time gave it up with terrible heartbreak & depression. My Dad passed holding my hand my sis took my mom in Oct & she's now gone Jan. My sis & husband have all power lock'd all family out of the family home & have a lawyer they are the power of attorney on everything. They even took the family car & drove to my moms funeral. So I feel your digust and disappointment.

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