Father with Alzheimer's refuses home health care, is very demanding, and nothing is ever good enough. Is this normal for Alzheimer's behavior?

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He is very demanding and nothing is ever good enough. He wants to talk about masturbating & how he has to relieve himself!! He grabbed my breasts while demonstrating how he threw a man across the room. He tries to kiss me on the neck. Is this normal for Alzheimers Patients?

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Jeanne touched all the bases, here, Skarkenn. Your dad has Alzheimer's disease. It can cause this behavior - indeed it does more than most people know. But this is abuse to you, and you shouldn't have to live with it. Your dad needs to be cared for by professionals. You aren't giving up on him or throwing him out. You are looking for a safe environment where professional caregivers, with the help of his doctor, can take care of him. You will be there to visit and be his advocate, so you are still part of the team. Please take care of yourself,
It may be "normal" in the sense that dementia removes the inhibitions that keep us polite and cilivized. He may not be able to help this kind of behavior. But it is absolutely not acceptable for you to have to endure it. No matter how much you love your father and how much the disease has taken over his mind, you do not need to tolerate inappropriate sexual contact.

Discuss this behavior with his doctors.

Also, consider that it may be time to turn his day-to-day care over to professionals who are trained to deal with the behaviors of dementia. Continue to love him. Don't give up on him. Don't abandon him for things he can't help. But perhaps being his primary caregiver in your home is no longer the best option. At least consider alternatives.

And above all, don't you dare feel the least bit guilty about any of this!

Best of luck with this very difficult situation. Please come back and let us know what your are doing and how it is working out. You are not the only one facing this kind of thing, and we learn from each other.

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