My mom has started to berate me and leaves nasty notes about how I don't clean well enough. When do I say enough is enough?

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I work through an agency for my mom. I clean her house, cook, help with bathing and anything else she needs. I also do things i should not, taking her places, dr , store, where ever she needs. also my kids get to come to work with me, and she has always enjoyed this. We have done this for years, never been much of a problem. but recently she has turned on me. Saying I am not doing my job, leaving notes saying i never clean this or that, that I clean like a 6-7 year old would, my kids are always crying. She even went as far as telling me that someone turned me in and she lied to cover my rear.

My time sheet says 24 hours per week, 5 days. Normally we go over 6 days, so each day is shorter, that way we get home for nap time. And She does not have 2 days in a row with one body there. We were sick recently, and i refuse to go when someone is sick, I dont need her catching it!! And since then the 2 babies have been whiny, one was teething at the same time as being sick. Mom has been short with them and me, telling me how much I am spoiling them, i hold the baby to much....So I stopped holding him if front of her, and put them in the toy room and try to keep them in there out of the way.

I want to quit, but i know i cant, i need the money from the job and she needs the help. How do I deal with this sudden change?

Answers 1 to 5 of 5
Sounds like it is time for a heart to heart talk with mom. Tell her how the notes make you feel. That you understand that you are hired help but if she continues the agency will have to send a stranger in to help her with all of those needs, and you will need to take another assignment. She can point out things since you are being paid ("you didn't move the lamps when you dusted the table") but she is not allowed to insult you ("your 7 year old could run a vaccum better!")
the article in "detaching with love" is very insightful. maybe that will help.

good luck!
Could this be the early signs of alzheimers or dementia setting in? I mean if all has been well all this time, what has changed? It might be time for mom to see her doctor to rule some things out. Why do you have to work for your mother only? Can't you take on more care taking type of jobs from other people and get someone else for mom?
naheaton, I have said something about this before, but it only makes it worse. With her, it is and always has been better to turn a blind eye to her feelings. She has been like that since i was little, she does not talk about things, push them under the rug. she jumped down my neck last time I said something about the early signs of Alzheimers. I would still be taking her to all dr app, but i am going to sit down with my hubby, go over money and see if we can survive w/o my working......
Oweirdo, I personally would rather watch the grass grow then have to punch a time clock. Best of luck trying to quit work. Go for it.

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