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Mother died 20 years ago and since then, my father has been in one fantasy relationship after another. He convinces himself that one younger woman (usually in their 30's and he is in his upper 80's) is his close friend. He has attached himself to women's church ball teams, has attached himself to teachers when volunteering at our church and the latest is that he thinks that a waitress (married with 3 little kids) is his close friend. He gives these ladies money (gave a missionary 600.00 for a seminar, gives excessive tips, and the latest is that he wanted to give the waitress one of my mother's vintage coats from the 60's (made in London).
Two weeks ago, he insisted on going to the diner and he took the bus back. Being in the cold, he developed a nosebleed and ended up in the E.R for 5 hours (I was with him and had to take the day off next day and for two days it was doctor after doctor). While he was in the E.R. he advised me that if anything happens to him, please call "the waitress" because she cares about him. The waitress is 33, has kids and husband is a cop.
When he was better I told him that I will not go along with his nonsense. I told him that NOBODY wants a friendship with somebody almost three times their age and that he needs to see a pastor, a counselor and not go back to that diner again.
I told him that I would gladly take him to senior groups, church functions (even though he has embarrassed me with his gravitation to younger women in my church).
I told him that I will not take him to that particular diner anymore and I am not going along with this nonsense anymore.

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If there is a local senior center, Dad or Grand-Dad will find plenty of attention :) I think sometimes we over-think what is going on, and of course Dad or Grand-Dad will over-think the attention they are getting. As long as they aren't draining their retirement fund, let them enjoy themselves... but keep a careful watch from the side-lines.

Meeting people in person is so much better than going on-line and be bait for a catfisher who isn't the person they claim they are, asking for money with a promise of marriage and home life. These guys, yes guys, their task is to get as much money out of lonely souls. There was one on Dr. Phil's show today who had sent over $200,000 and the second part of the show will air this Friday [May 1].
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If he has dementia you'll not be able to reason with him. If he has decided that all the young babes gotta have him you won't change his mind or get him to mind his manners. I don't know how you can do it but he needs to be watched closely. The bigger issue than just creeping out a few young women is that some gal could easily clean him out financially. Just curious, is this something new in his personality or has he always fancied himself a lady killer?
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My dad has an infatuation with a waitress at a restaurant that he frequent. When we go to dinner at this place he asks to sit in her section. Then he talks only to her and ignores everyone he invited to dinner. Recently I found out that he paid for first class tickets to Hawaii and paid for the hotel for the waitress and her deadbeat husband. I found the conformation of this in writing. I spoke to him about how I'm worried that a thirty year old married waitress is befriending him for what she can get he got angry and told me to mind my own business. Then he berated me for anything he can think of. My dad is going on 88 years old and has been a widow for 28 years. He has been taken advantage of by other young waitresses financially before since his wife died. His longtime friends and I always warn him but, he won't listen. We do not think his behavior is something to be amused at.
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Anne, Just goes to show what they say is true, 'there's no fool like an old fool'. Really, what old man wouldn't want to be desired by a younger woman? I mean that's age old stuff we're talking about here. I'd say your dad is starved for affection and female attention. As far as the age thing, don't we all still feel 20 in our brains? I mean our bodies have gone to the dogs, but our minds are still pretty feisty. Looks like that's where he's at these days. Except for the giving money away to total strangers goes, I'd be plugging up that faucet, but otherwise let him dream a little. Maybe you can divert his attention off the young women, and onto all those lonely widows out there.
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My mother who has dementia and lives in an ALF thinks that she has dated two of the caregivers at the home years ago. They are both in there 20's and she is 90??? I don't think she even thinks of age because once I told her that they where too young for her and she acted like I didn't know what I was talking about!!
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Just goes to show that you're never too old to chase women! Uh, downhill.

We can laugh and cheer the guy on, but seriously, this can be dangerous as well as he could be wide open to being taken advantage of.

Do the best you can to protect him and get a lawyer if necessary.

Let him have *some* fun as long as it's harmless.

(your embarrassment is something you'll just have to deal with, because I hope I can chase 30 year old women and embarrass my caregiver when I'm 80! Whoo-Hoo!)
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what age does he think he is mentally? could be that he thinks himself younger. sometimes people do that when they age and have alzheimers or dementia. Without knowing all the facts it sounds like he can't really take care of himself any longer and maybe you should be looking at alternative situations. Maybe take him to your local senior center so he can be around women closer to his own age. It's hard watching a loved one get older and do strange behavior, but you just have to love him and try understand why he is doing what he is doing...maybe talking to a doctor that specialzes in geriatric medicine can help you in finding answers. Good luck and just know that you're doing the best that you can through love and that it's all anyone can do. hang in there ;-}
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