My father is being forgetful and starting to get confused. What can I do if I asked to take him to the doctor and he got mad at me?

Follow
Share

my 86 yo father forgot he bought me a van 6 weeks ago.He cannot drive because of health issues. I was putting van in garage when he stepped in front of van & asked me what was i doing,i said putting van in garage.He wanted to know who it belonged to and why i wanted to put it in his garage He got really angry when i said it was his,he said no it was not.I said i wrote the check on his checking acct to pay for it-i am trustee.It was his idea to but it not mine,At first i thought he was teasing me then i got worried.I asked him if he was alright, his reply was I think im losing it.I went inside, he came in a few mintues later,I again asked if he was ok.He was sort of confused and i said i wanted to take him to doctors office,he got mad said he was ok and leave him alone.About hour later he said he put van in garage so i didnt have to.I dont know what to do He is a diabetic-i had him test ,was 178

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
5

Answers

Show:
I wouldn't talk to him about his confusion - just suggest that his diabetes may need more attention, and you'd like his doctor to test him. Get an appointment and then write a letter to the doctor alerting him or her ahead of time about the confusion. What you are dealing with is a common problem. The adult child or spouse see the need for help. Even the elder sees something is wrong - but fear keep them for getting help. Finding a reason other than the mental confusion can often get the person to some kind of doctor. Then - the doctor can generally take it from there. Notifying the doctor about the confusion will help make the appointment go more smoothly (we hope).
Carol
Good luck,
Carol
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

PS....HIDE THE VAN KEYS!! Wether or not he gets upset doesnt matter, he WILL take that car out, they have no reasoning if he is getting this disease. Another thing is, did they come on sudden or slowly over the past few months? That makes a diffference on wether or not he could have had a stroke , or mini stroke. My Moms stroke was bleeding in her brain and at their age, there is nothing they can do anyway if it is.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I have noticed that sometimes when Sonny get agitated or a little angry, it is because he is embarrased.. Remember that men will not handle some of this like a woman would.... Sonny may have moments of clarity, then become very confused and say he, also, feels like he is loosing his mind... what I do is set with him for a few minutes, touch him and reassure him... that he is ok, he's safe, I am there, and it's ok to get confused sometimes...and as I see he is settling down, I then try to redirect him... but more and more here lately he stays in a somber mood... I don't bother him, just let him work it out... then maybe ten of fifteen minutes later I will ask him if he wants to help me do something, like take out the garbage, or help me take the folded clothes to the bedroom to put up, or I'll ask him if he wants some juice or a snack...One thing I try to keep in mind, is when he does realize something is wrong, he has a right to his feelings... and men show fear with anger sometimes.... so just reassure him, if he will let you, but as Carol mentioned, it doesn't have to be about his forgetfulness.... it really wasn't directed at you, I am sure he got very upset that he had spent that amount of money and didn't remember it... prayers and hugs for you and him..... glad you asked this question...
t
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I would follow Carol's suggestion and direct the appointment toward the diabetes. In fact, you can mention that you want his support while you are tested that day too. (We all need to be tested fairly often.) If you start asking him questions about how you should handle it if you do have diabetes, he may feel needed, more focused, and a true adult instead of an "elderly" person. I will keep you both of you in my prayers. I know the anger from a beloved adult hurts, and I have to work on it daily to realize it is not necessarily me that my mother is directing her anger toward. Take care, Rebecca
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I understand this and went thru it in the beginnings of my moms alz disease. She would tell me to help her look for her keys and as I was in her room looking she came in and said "what are you doing in my drawer?!!!" She would repeat things over and over and if we had a dr appt in the morning by afternnoon she forgot we went. I would get him to a dr to check for (diabetes) a stroke or even something as simple as medications. My Moms Neuro told me dehydration causes signs of dementia and once fully hydrated they can be different people so try that for now maybe. I agree with the others, dont stress him out telling him too much, just keep him happy. IF he does have alz, thats the key anyway, they are always right! lol
Best of luck!!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions