What do I say when my mom says "you're too young to know..." to me?
Mom walked out in front of a truck Thurdsday night. I was grabbing for her and the driver slammed on brakes, so she wasn't hit. She then insisted that she was waiting for him to pass (although her feet were still moving forward) and "I knew he was stopping anyway." Friday night (after I had cooled down) , I broached the subject of her diminishing judgement ability framed by by concern for all involved in the incident. And guess what -- that incident "never happened". I persisted and was told very plainly and with great arrogance that I had no concept of how it felt to be old and like it or not I would be old one day too and until then I had no business telling her what she needed to do. So how do I respond to that????
Mom has (officially undiagnosed except by previous family physician) NPD and possible MPD with increasing dementia. She says "of course I'm a bit forgetful. ALL older people are forgetful. When you grow up, you'll learn that. I still feed myself and fix my meals and take care of myself, so I'm perfectly all right." Great -- but I'M going crazy... I don't try to control her choices unless they are really big. As long as she's not going over Niagara Falls in a barrel, she can bob around upstream all she wants. But, when it matters, how do you answer "I've been where you are, but you haven't been where I am so you can't judge my decisions" ?