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He is an old 67 with numerous health problems. Me being a woman and him male well this is awkward getting him to shower at least every other day. Ive threatened him with the idea of a male nurse coming in and washing his hair and private parts . He wasnt too keen on the idea. It worked for a couple of days and that was it. On top of it hes a smoker which can really permiate his clothes and stink horribly. He cant smoke inside so he goes outside with the coat on comes inside never takes it off and sometimes sleeps in it. It breaks my heart to see him like this. Ive told him how it hurts me to see him not care how he smells or looks. He has taken anti depressants in the past but it didnt change anythin. how can I encourage him to take some pride in his apppearance?

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I have struggled with this for the last several years. To compromise I push the issue if we are going somewhere. Every Sunday Morning or Saturday evening He has to shower before we will go to church. If he has an appointment like Dr's or if we are going to store in the middle of the week. I had decide which battles I wanted to fight with him, he is very stubborn. He has recently started getting in the shower but not washing. He has trouble with processes. So now he gets in the shower I hand him a wash cloth suds up. He maintains his privacy and I contain my embarrassment for him and me. The sad thing was I noticed his socks hanging in the shower. He got in this week with his socks on. I guess he got a shower and washed his socks at the same time. You have to find some humor in all of it.
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I have been having problems with my mom bathing. She refuses to bath. I don't know what to do. I cannot make her get in the bathtub. Any suggestions????
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@bjhutter... my mother died 22 years ago and they were divorced for years.
@judy1 We are in the process of having a nuerologist test him for dementia. He said there is certainly some impairment due to 2 mini strokes he has had in the past due to the unchecked high blood pressure. Just in the last year i have seen him age so fast, it scares me. I try to let him be as independent as possible to keep him active somewhat but he would rather sit in front of the tv all day at times. I have heart and blood prerssure condition myself.. and i have to take care of my self so I can take care of him.. Its funny because when im beat and tired and nedd a good nap thats when hes says lets go for a visit or lets go to the store. I will usually do that with him because im so happy to see him up and about. I think we are on different time clocks..lol
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@bjhutter... he has high blood pressure , hepC , sleep apnea , emphezema , and takes methadone for a life long heroin addiction. has been on methadone fore about 10 or 12 years now............
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I think these symtoms are just the beginning of dementia. My mother did exactly the same thing.....If you read other posts you will see that it is very common.....Originally I thought my mom was just being stubborn and didn't care about her appearance any longer but I have come to realize it was the dementia....she doesn't even remember if she showered or not. I now have her in an ALF and they bathe her.
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What are some of his health problems? Has your mother passed?
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Hi... I have been battling with this for years with my now 67 yr. old mother. I must remind her to take a bath/shower. At times she will deny it and say to me she has already taken a shower or she took one the other night. This is just one of many problems here. I am so depressed and just want you to know that you're not alone.
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